


Finding our way

by SadGhosttt



Category: Red Dead Redemption, Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Drinking, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn, arthur is a sap, for once, it's what he deserves, just a very bad chest infection, no one dies, not a lot though i promise, only micah dies, people actually care about arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23893228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadGhosttt/pseuds/SadGhosttt
Summary: Arthur never thought he'd be feeling how he did now, amongst all the trouble and fear. He now had to deal with the fact he was developing feelings for the gangs new stable boy... shit. Great timing Morgan, great timing.
Relationships: Kieran Duffy/Arthur Morgan
Comments: 27
Kudos: 127





	1. Small gifts and hidden feelings

This was all so bizarre, hell the past few _months_ had been bizarre! But moving down south, becoming a deputy, tricking two horrible families for some damn gold. Arthur just hoped this wouldn't get worse. That they got get the gold (if there was any at all) and run west or hell, leave the damn country if they had to. But on top of that, he had found himself feeling like a lovesick boy. He didn't know how to explain it without sounding like he was reading from one of Mary-Beth's books... But he'd get butterflies, his chest would feel tight and he'd catch himself staring. All over their stable boy, Kieran. The jumpy feller he'd been threatening since he fucking got here. He'd catch himself staring at the lankier man a lot, watching him sit at the scout fire with a cigarette. Watching how the shadows of the trees danced over his features. God forbid if Kieran caught him staring, he'd gladly go over to the lake and jump in. Save the embarrassment.

But thankfully he hadn't, not yet anyway. Did Arthur know _why_ he liked the O'Driscoll boy? now that he could explain. He'd seen how nice he was with the horses, hear him talk to them in a very endearing way _' C'mon Count, don't be stubborn I'm nearly finished... You'll get your Sugarcubes after, I swear.' ' Taima you're such a sweet girl, I think you deserve another apple.'._ He'd also catch him talking with the girls, and even other gang members. Making a tiny bit of small talk, even saw him talking to Sean once or twice. How on earth he dealt with that boy he'd never know, specially after Sean headbutted him and bust his nose. Left him with a nasty bruise for a week. Yet he still worked hard and kept his head down, he commended him for that he really did. 

A few days ago Kieran had sheepishly asked him to go get him some burdock root. So he could whip up somethin' for the horses. So Arthur had picked some for him, more like a whole bunch. Wrapping it up in some scrap fabric and tying it, he wanted it to look nice. He'd never done this for any of the other gang members... so he hoped this wouldn't come off as weird, he was trying okay. He even slipped in a little drawing of Branwen he had done, as little thank you for all the hard work he'd done. Show he didn't fully despise him, that's the last thing Arthur wanted Kieran to think. Sure Arthur teased him a lot and was... kinda mean. But he didn't hate the boy.

Arthur pushed himself up from his cot, changing into some cleaner clothes and putting on his hat and badge. Since he'd be heading out after Pearson finally put their lunch out, he had to put on that damn lawman facade. Everyone in camp thought it was ridiculous, saying Arthur looked weird acting like a lawman. He was just gonna have to deal with it for now... till they got out of this stupid situation. For now, he just had to focus, on not fucking up talking to Kieran. No fumbling with words just give the boy the damn Burdock root.

He reached into his satchel, pulling out the little fabric bag. It looked cute honestly, having some pale blue flower pattern on it and lace trim. Looked more like a present if anything, that being another reason he had hid it. In case anyone saw, he knew he'd get teased and asked if he was seeing some lady - Mary specifically after he helped her _once,_ a month ago. The blond took a deep breath, walking out from under the canopy that covered his tent from the blistering Lemoyne sun. Scanning the campgrounds for Kieran till he spotted him on the outskirts of camp by the horses, brushing Branwen and petting his nose. He could do this, he could go talk to him. It would be fine. Arthur let out a sigh through his nose, making his way through camp. Saying 'Mornin' to a few of the gang members as he passed them. He caught Mary-Beth's eye as he walked past and nodded at her " Mornin' Mary-Beth."

She smiled up at him, sipping her coffee as she stood by the fire warming herself up. " Mornin' Arthur, You sleep okay? Heard you coming back late." Mary-Beth lifted the tin cup to her mouth and took a small sip, the older man just nodding and shrugging his shoulders as he came to a stop. 

" Yeah, as well as I can. I was just out hunting to stop Pearson complaining about me not bringing in food. As if it makes any difference to his cookin'." Arthur snorted out a small laugh and Mary-Beth joined him, nodding.

" You can say that again!" she sighed as she finished her coffee, looking down at the fire " I should probably start working, get some work done so I can finally finish this book I'm reading. It's getting so tense I wanna finish it off in one sitting." Brushing off her skirt, she started to walk to Pearson's wagon. Glancing over her shoulder to look at Arthur and giving him a sweet smile " Have a good day, deputy." Mary-Beth giggled and Arthur smiled back at her.

" Don't call me that, lemme know how good the ending is okay?." He started to walk again towards Kieran and Mary-Beth waved him off, calling out to him.

" Will do!" 

Kieran didn't even notice Arthur walking up behind him and leaning up against the tree. He was still in his own little world, Arthur found it kinda cute... He cleared his throat and Kieran almost jumped out of his skin, poor feller. Spinning on his heels to look at Arthur, fumbling with the brush in his hands. Letting out a sigh of relief and lowering his head, placing a hand on his chest.

" J-esus Mister, you scared me something rotten... Can... Can I uh, help you? I ain't in trouble am I?" He lifted his head to look at Arthur who scoffed and smiled, stepping towards him and lifting the brim of his hat just a little.

" Trouble? Why the hell would you be in trouble... You ain't seen any of Colm's boys have ya?" The smile he had quickly faded, but seeing the fear flash in Kieran's eyes and hearing him start to stammer, he giggled. Lightly punching his arm " Relax, I'm just messing with you... No uh. I," holding the package out he lowered his head a little " I wanted to give you this..." He waited for the boy to take it with bated breath, the younger's eyes going wide in surprise. Hesitantly Kieran reached up and took it, fingertips brushing against Arthur's own. Sending a small shiver down Arthur's spine, even in this weather.

" Really? I- Thank you..." Kieran's smile was warm, and genuine for once. A rare and amazing sight, not like Arthur would say that aloud. Duffy slowly opened up the parcel, holding the twine in one hand as he pulled the fabric open. Smile growing wide " Oh! Y-you got so much Burdock root for me, this will make a good few batches. I-" He paused, seeing a piece of paper at the bottom. Reaching up and slowly pulling it out from underneath the pile of Burdock roots.

Arthur could feel his face start to burn and he rubbed the back of his neck. Waiting for some sort of reaction from Kieran to confirm he wasn't an idiot for doing this, his heart unclenching when Kieran finally spoke again. " Did... Did you draw this? I never knew you could draw, Arthur." He spoke softly, and he was smiling. Thank god.

Arthur shrugged and held up his hands " I uh, dabble... Do animals mostly... Sorry, it doesn't do your boy justice..."

At that Kieran frantically shook his head, looking at the piece of paper with a smile " N-no! it's really good... It's lovely Arthur, I'll be keeping that safe." He smiled to himself and carefully rolled it up, placing it in his breast pocket so it wouldn't fall out. His eyes lifting up to meet Arthur's, tilting his head just a little. Christ alive, if Arthur hadn't held his composure that look Kieran gave would've killed him. It was already sending butterflies swarming around his stomach as it is.

It was a few moments before Kieran spoke again, nervously rubbing his arm " Arthur, why did you give me that? If you don't mind me asking... just. never thought of you to be the type to give me a present." His words trailed off as he looked down at his feet, shifting just a little. The blond took a deep breath and sighed, looking the O'Driscoll boy up and down, thinking of a good way to word it before shrugging. Trying to play it off as casual.

" A thank you, for all the hard work you're doing... Keep it up" He brought up his hand and gave Kieran a soft pat on the shoulder and a little rub. The seemingly smaller man smiled and nodded, stepping back and putting the Burdock root in his pocket.

" That means a lot, specially f-from you mister... I should get back to tending to the horses, 'fore Miss Grimshaw tells me to do work... Thank you, again." He gave Arthur a sweet smile and waved, walking back over to the horses. 

Arthur watched him walk off, holding up his hand " Good idea, take care, O'Driscoll." He started to walk back towards camp, unable to help himself from smiling just a little. That went better than expected!

Once he was back on campgrounds, he froze as he heard a very familiar snicker from by the campfire. Turning his head to see the gap-toothed smile belonging to Sean, sighing as he rested his hands on his gun belt. " What you laughing for MacGuire..."

He spoke low, Sean looking up at him and scoffing " What's the matter Englishman? second ago I saw you smiling like you got your leg over with a girl in town. That where you were at last night?" That prompted Arthur to storm over, hitting the front of his hat so it came over his eyes.

" Watch that mouth of yours boy, I was hunting... Got it?"

Sean just laughed, lifting his hat and looking up at him " Jeeeesus, calm down I was only jokin'... christ!" He got up and folded his arms "It's just odd to see such a gruff bastard like yourself smilin' for a change, is all." He shrugged and walked off, Arthur letting out a sigh and rubbing his face as he walked over to his bed. God Sean really was like an annoying little brother, he loved to wind him up. At least he didn't catch on that Arthur was smiling because of Kieran, that would've been bad. It would spread around camp like wildfire. Dutch's boy, a queer.

God the thought of people he cared about ridiculing him made him feel sick. But he could deal with that thought another time. As soon as the food was ready, Arthur had grabbed a bowl. Scoffing it down before he headed out for the day, riding out of camp on his horse. 

Kieran watched him ride out and once he was out of sight, looked around. Sitting himself down under a tree and pulling out the drawing Arthur made, running his hand over it and smiling. He wanted to stare at that drawing forever, he did that for him... of all people.

God knows what was going through that mans head, but it was definitely a sweet gesture. The nicest thing anyone had done for him in... a very very long time to be honest. Soft hoof noises slowly coming up to him, Branwen leaned down and sniffled the paper. Making the man laugh, reaching up and patting his nose " Arthur drew you boy, you like it?" he held it up by his face " I think it captures your likeness really well..." He giggled and then let out a sigh as he then held it against his chest. Pressing his back up against the tree and leaning his head back. Sending his hat askew, looking out over the small clearing he took a deep breath " Oh, Arthur..." he said to himself, looking at the drawing one more time before carefully rolling it back up and putting it back in his pocket. Pushing himself up off of the lush grass before he went to go get something to eat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write a fic after 8 years of roleplaying so here's my first! Please be gentle and if throughout the course of this if I need to tag anything let me know!


	2. You, Me and the Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieran and Arthur go on that fishing trip, Arthur can't focus for multiple reasons.

It had been about a week since Arthur gave Kieran that gift. They'd spoken a few times since then, but nothing major. Just small talk essentially, Kieran had left him a recipe for some horse medicine though. Which he appreciated a lot. Nonetheless, despite how little they spoke Arthur was always happy to see him. He'd just came back from running errands for some Gray boy. Being a messenger in his hillbilly version of Romeo and Juliet, it's ridiculous. But, hell they were just kids. He couldn't be sour just cause he couldn't do romantic things like that because he'd be hung, drawn and quartered... and rejected maybe. But he didn't want to think about that right now, he'd get all down... and he was stressed enough as it is. Arthur hopped off of his War Horse, Pepper and patted her side " Atta girl... Think you deserve a treat for ridin' me back forth all day for those... damn hillbillies." He spoke softly, pulling a carrot from his satchel and holding it out for her to eat. Pepper eating it happily as Arthur's attention was drawn over to Kieran, sat holding his fishing rod and looking around. The poor boy even looked timid just sitting there for chrissakes. The blond let out a sigh and walked over to him " You going fishing?"

Kieran's head quickly turned towards Arthur, pushing himself up and smiling weakly " Yes!" 

Arthur narrowed his eyes and took a few steps into Kieran's space " You asked if Dutch would let you go?... alone?" He folded his arms and Kieran let out a sigh, dropping his head and walking away.

" Yes, I was hoping by _now_ he'd trust me to at least fish on the lake where he could see. But... guess not." Rubbing his face he groaned and then paused, looking over his shoulder to Arthur. "... Do you wanna come with? I-I uh. Know a good spot, we'll do well." Turning to face the older man properly, he gave him a soft and hopeful smile. One which Arthur found hard to refuse.

With a shrug, Arthur held up his hands " I ain't a good fisherman I'll be honest but... sure. Why not. " 

The O'Driscoll's reaction, holy shit it made him feel so happy? He couldn't explain it properly without sounding stupid. But seeing his smile get wider, and his whole demeanour change. It just did things to him! that's all he could say. Kieran smiled and headed over to Branwen, hopping on and petting his side

" C'mon then let's get going!" He put his rod into his saddlebag, as Arthur walked over to Pepper and pulled himself on. Then off they went, Kieran leading him out of camp and down onto the sandy shore not too far away. Still grinning from ear to ear, and you could hear it when he spoke " Well, who would've thought we would be heading off fishing together! Weren't long ago you were... threatening to break every bone in my body!" Shit he had done that hadn't he... Arthur sighed and nodded

" True, good thing I didn't. Still might, who knows."

Sadly the sarcasm didn't come off, as Kieran's demeanour went right back to him being all timid. Looking at Arthur with a frown. Shit. " I-I saved your _Life_ Arthur! That has to mean somethin' right?" Good job Morgan, _reallllll_ good job.

His eyes widened a little and Arthur nodded, rubbing the back of his neck " It does, it does. Weren't for you I'd have been dead at six point cabin... So. Thank you for that." The blond lowered his head and then paused, feeling a hand touch his forearm. Following it up he saw the soft smile spreading across Kieran's face, making Arthur's face start to feel like it was burning... luckily it was warm out, like always. So the soft pink spreading along his freckled cheeks wasn't super noticeable.

" You're welcome, I wasn't just gonna stand there and let your head get blown off!" Kieran let out a soft giggle before pulling his hand back to Branwen's reigns. Looking up ahead he nodded " Here we go! Plenty of Bass here, so use crickets or worms." He glanced at Arthur before stopping, hopping off and going to the shore with his rod. Arthur just sat there for a moment, in a haze. You would be too if a cute feller did that with you out of nowhere. He quickly snapped out of it when he saw Kieran look over at him and gesturing for him to come over. So he hopped off of Pepper and grabbed his fishing rod, walking up beside him and casting his line once it was baited. 

They were doing pretty good, well... Kieran was. Arthur kept losing the fish... hey, he did say he was bad! They just talked a little about Kieran's role in the O'Driscoll gang and how Dutch didn't trust him. That was till uh, they saw something odd. Arthur trying to get a damn fish when the younger man next to him nudged his arm

" You seeing this? fella is as naked as the day he was born!"

" what in the hell are you-" Arthur turned his head and he froze, then glancing at Kieran " That why you like this spot?...." He lowered his rod a little and Kieran sighed

" _That_ is someone who needs a confessional..." Kieran spoke almost in a whisper as the fella stopped and looked over, waving.

" You two here for some fishing? Just so you know, there are some really big ones over that way, like this!" He tried to gesture how big the fish was but he went under the water for a second. The two men looking between each other and shrugging, but the guy came back up and smiled. Calling back out to them " I should keep goin' hope you gents catch something!" He waved and swam off, Arthur just nodded

" Maybe we'll go take a look, thanks." Watching the guy swim off, the brunet let out a small gasp.

" Oh, I know where that is! Come on, let's go!" He hurriedly reeled in his line and ran over to Branwen, Arthur only just reeling in by the time he was already on his horse.

" Hey, wait up!" He collapsed his fishing pole and ran over to his mare, pulling himself up. Following close behind Kieran as they galloped through the trees, it was cute seeing how excited this got him. He was glad Kieran was enjoying this. Arthur didn't want everything to overshadow all of this, all the drama and trouble. He wanted to have fun with the... the guy he liked! Act like they aren't on the run or in danger for a few hours. Just the two of them and the fish. 

Once at the new spot, Kieran got all giddy. Seeing a _huge_ bluegill leap from the water. Looking over at Arthur and smiling wide " D-did you see that bluegill?" the blond nodded and smiled softly, slipping off of Pepper

" Sure!" He rummaged through his bag, through all the papers and food. Pulling out a ' special' lure he had bought up in Lagras. " You think this might lure the big fella in?" He held it up and Kieran looked over, nodding quickly.

" Oh yeah! That- That's perfect! let's try to catch this bluegill !" Kieran smiled and went over to the shore, Arthur following close behind.

Baiting up and casting his line, Arthur thought of what to say. Glancing at the brunette and sighing " So, who taught you how to fish Kieran?" Kieran hummed

" My Pappy mostly... Iost him and my Mammy when I was little to Cholera..." his voice was soft and low, Arthur nodding.

" Yeah I heard you talk about em to Sean. I'm sorry. I uh, lost my Ma, when I was young too, lost my Pa when I was 11. Sure he was a bastard but... I understand." Arthur let out a sigh and Kieran looked over, tilting his head.

"... I didn't know that... Hell, I don't know much about you when I think about it." He shrugged, looking over the lake as Arthur nodded.

" Yeah I don't usually share. I'm bad with stuff like that... Bad at sharing my feelings..." After that they just fell into a comfortable silence but, it felt nice to be more vulnerable with Kieran. Kinda reassured him that he could do that with him and it wouldn't freak him out. So this was... this was as good start to them getting closer. 

After about half an hour or so, they were close to giving up and just riding back to camp. When Arthur got a sharp tug on his line, almost pulling him over! His eyes widened and he gripped his fishing rod, pulling it back to try tire the fish out.

" Holy shit! Arthur is that it?!" Kieran dropped his pole and went over by his side, Arthur nodding quickly.

" Think so! let's hope it ain't just some trash in the lake trickin' us!" He glanced at the other man and once the fish stopped, he reeled it in as fast as he could. Going back and forth from tiring it out and reeling in. Eyes going wide as he pulled the massive bluegill out of the lake, unable to stop the big smile going across his face. 

Kieran smiling and patting his arm " You got it! Amazing! I wish I was the one who caught it." He stepped back and Arthur slung it over his shoulder.

" You're the one who spotted it, so I'd say it was 50/50..." He giggled and collapsed his rod, putting it in his bag. 

Kieran let out a sigh " Well, I'm should head back before Dutch thinks I've run off... I'll see ya later!" He went and picked up his rod, heading over to Branwen. 

Arthur quickly followed behind him and put his hand on his shoulder, he didn't want this to end so soon. Just another hour with Kieran, that's all he wanted... one more hour alone. " H-hey! uh... Why don't we cook up some of the other fish we got? We can give this one to the camp and cook up the ones we got earlier... Whaddya say..." His voice went low and soft, giving the smaller man a hopeful smile. Normally Arthur wouldn't be too bothered, he'd be like _'Okay, I'll see you at camp. We should do this again.'_ today he just wanted more time, before he'll be running all over. Tryna take these damn families down. God knows what was gonna happen, but he had a shot for more time he was gonna take it.

Kieran's eyes widened and he froze, looking over Arthur's face and trying to see if he was serious. Face going a soft pink when he realised this wasn't just a joke, a or him being messed with. 

Giving him a shy nod and rubbing his arm, eyes shifting to the floor " U-uh sure! that. That sounds nice, be better than having that damn stew."

At that Arthur laughed, going to hang the Bluegill over Pepper's back " Damn right, I have some uh canned veggies in my bag. Ain't much but, could heat that too. Uh, I'm guessing you know how to fillet a fish so... You do that and I'll set up the fire. " He pulled his camping kit from his bag and the lankier guy nodded, quickly going to get started.

After about 15 minutes they were good to go! Arthur sitting down next to the fire, Kieran joining him. Watching Arthur poke at the coals and putting some scrap metal over it, now normally Arthur cooked for necessity, not flavour. But... he couldn't just put the damn fish on a stick and hold it over the fire! Not in front of Kieran... he. He wanted to impress him. So he put the filleted bass on the metal, as well as some of the canned veggies. Kieran letting out a satisfied sigh at the smell. It smelt really good already which was a good sign! Once their dinner was done, Arthur nudged the metal off the coals and onto the grass so it could cool.

Pulling two bottles of beer from his bag and handing one to Kieran. Who nodded and thanked him quietly. Sipping it with a sigh as Arthur rummaged through his satchel for something to eat with. Pulling out two metal forks, passing one to the other man before he took a bite of the food. Humming happily " mm... That's... pretty nice! Who'd have thought I could make somethin' like this, huh?" He took another bite, the brunet doing the same. 

Eyes lighting up "... Oh wow, Arthur! This is good!" He giggled and wiped his mouth. " Maybe you should be the camp cook!"

He joked and nudged Arthur, who shook his head and rolled his eyes." Nah, cause I'd get all pissy with John if he complained about it." He let out a soft laugh and sipped his beer.

After that Kieran and Arthur just sat and ate, drinking beer as the sun started to set over the lake. Putting a soft pink glow over them both, Arthur couldn't help but think it made Kieran look even cuter than before. If that was even possible. Kieran looked over at Arthur and smiled softly "... Can I say something, Mister-"

Arthur held up his hand and looked over at him " Arthur. You don't have to keep saying Mister." He shrugged and the smaller man nodded.

" R-right. Sorry... Arthur. You're one of the nicest men I've met... despite everything. I. I just wanna thank you... for all this. You didn't have to be nice or, give me that burdock root for the horses or the drawing. I uh, had real good time with you today ... Best time I've had in years If I'm honest. Didn't think you'd even wanna come with me." His voice was soft, nervous. words trailing off as he finished his sentence.

The older man looked up from the food, frowning a little. His chest felt so fuzzy, he had so much he wanted to say back but. Not now... he'd wait till he could describe what the hell he was feeling. " Why wouldn't I, I know I've been a real bastard towards you... but. I do enjoy your company Y'know. I had fun too, really... took my mind off of. All the shit at camp... " Arthur gave him a warm smile, reaching over and patting the other's shoulder, face going red when he saw Kieran's hand come up. Covering it with his own and holding it gently, rubbing Arthur's hand with his thumb

" My pleasure... Think we both needed it." Arthur nodded and slowly pulled his hand away, feeling his heart start to pound in his chest.

First time in a long time someone did that to him.. this was more than just some little thing. That was obvious now. Sitting with Kieran by the lake, eating food made with the fish they caught. Arthur felt like nothing was going on, he felt relaxed and happy. As if he wasn't a wanted man, as if he and Kieran didn't have to go back to camp and act like this didn't happen... if only they could be like this all the time. He'd just have to see if this plan worked out. If it did, maybe they could be happy after all... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys deserve nothing but the best, so I'm gonna try do em justice. I'm nearly done with uni for the year so I should be updating once a week, maybe even more!  
> I have more chapters outlined so we're in for the long haul 💖


	3. Time to rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieran was getting worried, Arthur hadn't come back with Dutch and Micah. Knowing what Colm was capable of... safe to say Kieran is petrified. But he's not the only one.

This was getting scary, really scary. Earlier Kieran watched Dutch, Micah make a reluctant Arthur go with them to meet Colm. That alone made him nervous. But him not coming _back_ made things worse. They left, around what noon? it was now about 10/11. Dutch didn't seem too phased, not many people did. But Kieran knew something was off, Arthur had only come back to camp that same morning. He'd usually stay for at least a day or two before he headed back out- from what he noticed. Not like he'd wait for him to get back or anything... But this. He couldn't have been the only one this worried right? Kieran had been sat by the horses, staring at the main entrance to the camp as well as the one next to where the horses grazed. There was no sign of him... shit. He let out a sigh and looked over to the wagons, pushing himself up off of the grass and slowly walking over. He had to talk to someone about this, he couldn't just sit and worry by himself right now. Walking over to where Mary-Beth was sat, he nervously fiddled with his fingers. Stopping a few feet away and clearing his throat. " Mary-Beth can. Can I talk to you?"

She looked up from her tin cup and nodded, no smile like she normally had. She just patted the space next to her on the blanket " Oh- yeah sure. Sit down." Kieran nodded and walked over, slowly sitting himself down and turning towards her. Mary-Beth set her cup down and looked at him "... You worried too, Kieran? saw you watching the paths like you're on guard duty..."

He nodded and sighed, lowering his head " Y-eah. I'm worried. Of course, I am, they meet up with Colm and his boys. But Dutch's ' Main boy' don't come back? Why ain't everyone worried? I-I know he's a grown man but-" Kieran stopped himself, rubbing his face " Sorry... sorry I talk too much when I'm nervous..." His words trailed off and he felt Mary-Beth's hand come to his arm, rubbing it softly with her thumb.

" Don't be, I'm feeling the same. Nothing is adding up." She moved her hand down, taking Kieran's shaky hand within her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. That helped a little, knowing he wasn't the only one worried about Arthur. But there was still that looming dread hanging over him, like deep down he knew something was really really wrong. He just wanted him to be okay. He didn't know why but he needed Arthur to be okay and to come back safe and sound. He got snapped out of his thoughts when he heard shouting across the camp, he and Mary leaning to one side to peek around the wagons.

Charles was arguing with Dutch, shit. He'd never seen Charles angry before, which he was glad about. He looked scary when he was mad. Way different from his usual calm self. They couldn't make out what was being said, but at this point, it was obvious it was over Arthur. Then it got quiet, as Dutch got in Charles' face. Poking his chest and it was easy to make out that he was saying ' He'll. be. fine.' before going back in his tent. Charles sighing and turning towards Kieran and Mary-Beth, walking over and sitting himself down with a sigh. But before the other two could even speak, Charles looked at them, it was very clear he was frustrated over this.

" He's not going to look for him... said he'll turn up on his own- but this is the man they've been feuding with for years. I don't see _why_ this isn't a bigger deal." After that he huffed, folding his arms and looking out over the camp. Kieran sheepishly reaching forward to put a hand on his shoulder, trying to help even just a bit.

" I-i know. I. I know what Colm can do... But what are we gonna do? if we go look for him, Dutch will be mad we went against his wishes..." He sighed and pulled his hand away, leaning his head back against the wagon. Letting out a sigh, Charles did the same and looked up at the sky.

"... If he's not back by lunch I'm going looking for him. No way am I just sitting here hoping he'll just show up..." Charles spoke softly and Mary-Beth nodded, finishing her lukewarm coffee and setting the mug on the floor.

" I think you should, If Dutch gets mad he gets mad... so be it. But for now, we'll just have to sit, wait, and hope he comes through those trees...." She sighed and Kieran and Charles just nodded. Falling into silence as they each kept an eye on the trees, waiting for something. Anything.

It was just past midnight when the slow sound of hoofs approached, most of the camp was asleep. Charles had fallen asleep, sitting up with his arms folded. Kieran was just starting to drift off when Mary-Beth shook him and pointed over to where the horses were hitched up. A very familiar, stocky silhouette on a black horse. Kieran's eyes went wide as he realised it was Arthur, shit. He looked in bad shape, which was very obvious when the poor man just fell off of his horse. Mary pushing herself up and bolting over to his side, as did Karen and Dutch. Kieran wanted to go over, he was going to. But hearing him cry out in pain and be fussed over he decided against it. He'd just be shooed away.

So he just sat, nervously fiddling with his hands and watched from afar. Watching Arthur get carried over to his bed and Susan sit by his side, the atmosphere feeling way less tense. He didn't even notice Mary-Beth coming back over and putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her and she smiled softly.

" Get some sleep... you look exhausted " Kieran just nodded and slowly pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes.

" Night.." He yawned and walked out from under the canopy of the wagon, going towards the horses and setting himself under the big tree. Since he still had no bedroll, after... a few months of being here... he was used to it now though. So he just pulled his hat down and went to sleep.

The next few days, Kieran had been trying to at least get that spot by Arthur's bed. He just wanted to sit with him, talk to him if he could. But Grimshaw had been with him most days so he hadn't gotten the chance. But... today she was busy working so the spot by his bed was free. Kieran had hurriedly finished his work, so he'd not have to get up and leave him. People would have to fight him for that seat. He even had breakfast already, and a snack in his pocket. He was ready. He slowly walked over to Arthur's tent, poking his head around to see if he was awake before sitting himself in the chair. Budging closer just a tiny bit, reaching over and placing a cold flannel over Arthur's forehead. The older man whined a little and then slowly opened his eyes, looking towards Kieran. 

"... Duffy? That you?..." His voice was rougher sounding than normal like he was straining to even speak. But he still gave Kieran a soft smile, despite his shoulder burning like hell he was happy to see Kieran. You'd think with an infected shotgun wound he'd be a bastard but... he was in a very vulnerable spot right now. He couldn't be mean if he tried. Especially to Kieran, not that Kieran knew that or even the reason why.

He looked at Arthur and nodded, smiling weakly." Yeah, it's me... okay if I sit here? or do you want someone else." He went to move but stopped when he felt a hand gently touch his leg.

The blond shook his head weakly and looked at him " Stay... Please... I want you here.” At hearing that, Kieran felt his stomach do flips. He didn't know what to say so he just nodded, giving Arthur a soft smile. 

" Okay, okay. If I annoy you just tell me and I'll uh, leave you alone..." His words trailed off and the older man let out a weak laugh.

" Knock it off, you ain't gonna annoy me... Rather have you sitting there than, Sean or. John. He'd sit there and be himself and I'd wanna punch him." He rubbed his face and Kieran giggled softly, shaking his head and grabbing the tin cup by Arthur's bed. Filling it up with some freshwater from the bucket Susan had left by his bed, before setting it back.

" Yeah, I can see that happening. How are you feeling?" He tilted his head and leaned forward a little. Arthur looked at him and sighed, shifting closer since he couldn't turn onto his side.

" I feel like I've been hit by a train, then ran over by a bunch of horses. But apart from that, I'm fine... My chest doesn't hurt or anything... thought this would've brought back my cough." He cleared his throat and Kieran nodded.

He remembered that it wasn't nice. After Arthur had gone and done some debt collecting for Strauss, back when they were in Horseshoe overlook. He'd come back after giving some sick man a beating. Then he got a really bad chest infection for a few weeks... had to have medicine every few hours from the doctor. He was fine now luckily. But he had to cut down how much he smoked, which Arthur didn't seem to mind. Kieran was just glad it wasn't anything more serious, he didn't wanna think about Arthur being sick.

The brunet nodded " Yeah, septic shoulder and another chest infection. Think we'll just stick with the septic shoulder for now, huh?" He gave Arthur a soft smile, reaching over and gently patting his hand. 

A week later, Arthur was already a lot better. He wasn't feverish anymore, he could actually move a bit and eat. But now he was getting a bit... you know. He just wanted to move around and do work. His shoulder was still burning and aching but still. He felt fucking useless! he was basically bedridden while everyone did stuff. He'd been so used to being the camp workhorse that this felt way too weird. So, he'd gotten dressed, pressed through the pain and snook out of his tent. Trying not to be seen by anyone as he went to go get the hay for the horses. Not knowing Kieran was stood behind him, about to do the very thing Arthur was trying to do. " Arthur!" he yelled and Arthur jolted, hissing in pain and dropping the hay to the floor. Shit. Kieran quickly went over and took his hand " Cmon, back to bed. You should be resting!" he started to lead him back to his bed.

The older man groaned, dragging his feet like a child as he got pulled back to his tent. " I'm fine! I can't keep lyin' in bed all day! " He sighed as Kieran sat him down, folding his arms.

" Arthur you'll only make your shoulder worse... rest." He went to leave when the blond huffed and shook his head.

" But if I _sit_ here all day, who the hell is gonna do the work and get money and keep Dutch happy. Hell, I can't even sit in camp for an hour without being asked why I'm still in camp and not working... might as well just push through the pain."He did not expect any reaction from Kieran after he said that, but Kieran stopped walking and looked back at him with a frown.

Walking back into his tent he looked down at him " Arthur, you are not. well. You had a septic shoulder for crying out loud you could've died! Look I know you're used to doing all the work in the camp. But you ain't a workhorse! You can't keep pushing yourself so hard!"

He folded his arms and sighed, Arthur, looking up at him in disbelief. " Arthur we'll be fine while you rest... I mean it. Charles will go hunting for food if we need it. The girls will go get work in town. You don't have to do all the work alone... okay? Rest up, I- We need you to be okay. So just, sit there. I-if I catch you even trying to pick up something heavy I'll uh, drag you back here by your ear. " He couldn't help but start to laugh, Arthur laughing with him and nodding.

" I'm sure you will, Duffy... Thank you, needed to hear that." He gave him a soft smile and Kieran nodded, heading out of his tent and going back to work. Leaving the older man to sit with his thoughts and try to keep himself occupied.

After another week, Arthur was finally fully recovered. Shoulder healed, sore but healed. He already knew that shoulder would be fucked for the rest of his life, so that was another thing to add to the list of shit he dealt with. He had ridden into Saint Denis, got his hair cut and beard trimmed back to its normal length. But that wasn't the only reason he was in town. He wanted to pick something up, for Kieran to be specific. As a thank you for sitting with him when he was really sick and keeping an eye on him. It meant a lot. The past fortnight he'd been able to think, about how he felt and everything. Moreso in the past week with him being bedridden with his journal to keep him occupied. He'd drawn and written an awful lot, mostly people in camp. But he'd been trying to put his thoughts about Kieran onto paper, so he could figure it out. 

It was like how he felt when he was with Mary all those years ago, giddy and happy but. This time he wasn't tryna change who he was and who he was wouldn't scare Kieran off- if he liked him. He never made Arthur feel bad, or that he wasn't good enough. He didn't like to admit it but it was obvious Mary was a big part of the reason why his self-esteem was so low. He just wasn't good enough for her and her family. But he wanted to be good enough for Kieran. Cause that man deserved the best, he'd had it so rough he deserved only the best. 

But Arthur could finally put to words how he felt about Kieran, he was sweet and caring and... cute. He liked Kieran, genuinely liked him. More than he'd like anyone in a very long time. He'd just have to work up the fucking courage to tell him. Hopefully, this present would be a step in the right direction. He'd gotten a bunch of stuff for him really, he needed new stuff so it could be seen as a nice gesture and a gift. He'd gotten him a tent, bedroll and some new clothes. He deserved it, he didn't give a shit if he got snide comments for it. The poor fella slept in the fucking rain! He needed a proper bed and tent for chrissakes. 

Once he rode back into camp he got off of Pepper, patting her side and grabbing the stuff off of her back. Seeing that Kieran was by the scout fire, he could go set up his tent. So he went over to the big tree, where Duffy usually slept and started to set it up. Didn't take too long! within 15 minutes it was finished. His bedroll and clothes inside. Now to just go get him. Arthur walked across the camp to the scout fire, smiling softly down at Kieran and nodding in his direction. " Kieran, you busy at all? I need you for something." 

Kieran looked up and nodded, setting his cigarette on the floor and standing. Putting it out with his foot " What is it, Arthur?" The older man reached over and grabbed his arm, starting to lead him over.

" Close your eyes. Okay, don't open em till I tell ya. Got it?" He looked back at him and Kieran nodded quickly, a soft pink spread across his face as he closed his eyes tight. Letting Arthur lead him across the grass until they stopped. " Okay... Open." Arthur let go of his arm and stood next to him. The lankier fella opened his eyes hesitantly, freezing when he saw the tent.

" I-is this mine?... Arthur did you- did you do this?" He walked over to it and then slowly went inside, gasping softly. Arthur couldn't help but smile seeing Kieran all happy, looking at the clothes and the bedroll. The clothes were just a nicer, higher quality version of his outfit right now but it was better than nothing.

He held up his hands and giggled softly " Yeah, all me. Can't keep lettin' ya sleep on the grass in tatted clothes..." 

The brunet got out of the tent and smiled brightly up at him "... You didn't have to do this. This is too nice." He took a step closer to Arthur so they were pretty close. Which made the latter's heart beat a bit faster.

"... I did. It's a thank you... for dealing with me an makin me realise I work myself a bit too hard... thank you, Kieran." He looked around, checking to see if anyone was looking before he pulled Kieran into a hug. A genuine, warm hug. Kieran's eyes went wide, having not expected that. But he hugged him back, resting his chin on his shoulder. Sending his hat askew, he wasn't fussed. This felt nice, comfy and it felt right. Arthur gave really good hugs too with him being kinda beefy. He then remembered he had to respond, pulling away and patting the older man's shoulder.

" It wasn't a bother, really. I'd do it again if I had to... Really." 

Arthur smiled and nodded " I mean, I hope you don't have to but... I'd do the same for you, Kier. Really. Now go on, get yourself settled." He nudged Kieran along and he nodded and giggled. Going in his tent and smiling to himself, getting changed into his nice new clothes. They felt really good quality, better than what he had. But they'd be good for doing work in, no need to get rid of em when they could be easily fixed. Before he tossed them to the side he reached into the breast pocket and pulled out the drawing Arthur had done for him. Along with a pin, pinning the drawing up in his tent.

What? can a guy not put a drawing on the wall of his tent, from the man he was sweet on? or was that weird. He hoped not, he wasn't gonna be taking it down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be more cheerful and sweet , i swear!!! it'll also be a long one


	4. Our time north

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sean had his eye shot out, Jack had been taken by Braithwaite's, they moved AGAIN. Arthur needs time out of camp. out of Lemoyne. Kieran does too.

The past 2 weeks had been the most stressful thing they went through since blackwater... okay maybe not that stressful but still. First Sean got his eye shot out, at that fucking set up by the Gray's... bunch of bastards. Arthur still hated thinking back on it. But the aftermath was still so vivid in his head. Arthur and Micah had gotten Bill from the sheriff and saw Sean lying in the rusty coloured dirt. Arthur thought the bastard was dead, that was till you heard him talking. Even that wound didn't shut him up.

_' I-I knew that... was a setup... bunch of bastards.' His voice was weak still, obviously but the town was quiet enough that the 3 others could hear it. Arthur's head quickly turned to the voice, being distracted from the anger he was being filled with. Running over to him and kneeling down, putting his hand on Sean's shoulder._

_' Jesus boy! how you even still alive? ' He frowned as he examined the wound on the right half of his face. It wasn't good... but he'd live. Thank god._

_Sean let out a weak laugh and held his hand up, giving him a shaky thumbs up ' Luck of the Irish I say, King Arthur...' He smiled up at Arthur and Arthur just laughed softly. Feeling relieved... he was just glad he was alive. As much as Arthur hated to admit it, he was fond of the boy. He was an annoying little brother. The other two men just watched, Micah going over to Baylock and hopping on. Bill hesitantly going over to Brown Jack, till Arthur looked up and glared at him._

_' You ain't going nowhere! You're taking him to Saint Denis with me.' he pulled Sean up as carefully as he could and lead him over to his horse, Pepper._ _Bill's eyes widened and he went to say something till Arthur spoke again ' No buts, no nothin'. This was YOUR plan. So YOU are coming with and taking responsibility.' He huffed and put Sean on Pepper, going and grabbing Ennis and tethering him to Bill's horse. Bill just groaned and they road to Saint-Denis to get Sean to the doctor. Micah going back to camp._

He was actually glad he got out okay. Even if after he'd make sure you felt bad for teasing him by saying he nearly died, little bastard. But... that whole thing did actually make some positive change. The whole thing made Karen realise she did love him, that Sean wasn't playing. She got pretty protective of him too, still called him an idiot and a bastard but it was way more light-hearted. With sean also not being able to go on guard duty anymore, Lenny made him learn to read. He was getting pretty good too, so good for him. But sadly that was only the fucking tip of the iceberg that the Van Der Linde gang was about to run into. Jack was gone. Taken by those Braithwaites... bunch of hillbilly bastards.

When Arthur and Bill came back with Sean, poor Abigail was in hysterics and even John was pissed off. Made a change, at least he gave a shit about the boy. Bit late but still. Arthur was so worried about him, the kid was basically his nephew. He helped Abigail with him till John came back for chrissake. Most of the gang had ridden to the manor to get him, leaving everyone else including Kieran and Sean, with Micah... He didn't wanna but the choice was so quick he couldn't go against it. He'd rather have Kieran riding with them, but that was just Arthur. Would've been useful since he _saw_ the fellers... but too late now.

That was 2 weeks ago, Jack was in Saint Denis with some rich Italian bastard and they'd moved to some big house in the middle of the swamps. He got his own room, even if it was a bit messy he'd take it. But for now, he wanted to get the fuck out of here for a few days. John and Dutch were on the case trying to find Bronte, so he could relax a tiny bit right? Past month he was so on edge, his shoulder was so sore from being tense all the fucking time. He needed a damn break... now. 

He came out of his room, rubbing his face before putting on his hat, going to head downstairs when he heard someone clearing their throat. Arthur stopped and looked up, seeing Hosea standing in the hall. He gestured for Arthur to follow him, and the man basically being his father. He did, nodding and coming back up the few steps and following him. Hosea led him onto the balcony and sat down with a sigh, Arthur leaning against the railing and folding his arms. He looked at the older man and shrugged " So uh... What is it you wanted me for Hosea? Something wrong, well. More wrong than everything that's gone on since we left Blackwater." 

Hosea shook his head, holding up his hand " No, nothing's wrong son. Can and elderly man not speak to his son of 22 years?" He let out a weak laugh then looked out over camp, folding his arms. " Just wanted to talk to ya, make sure you were doing okay. How's the shoulder holding up?"

Arthur looked at it and rolled it a little " Sore, but I'll be fine... and you? How's the humidity working on your chest? feeling okay?"

Hosea shrugged " Surprisingly, it's helped a little. But... think if the air got any wetter, it wouldn't be good." He shook his head and then looked up at Arthur, frowning. " Are you sure you're okay son? You've been so on edge the past few weeks, I've been worried about you. You can talk to me." Hosea gave Arthur a soft smile and patted on the chair next to him, the blond sat himself down with a sigh.

"... I have been stressed if I'm honest. With Sean and then Jack it's just. A lot, cause I can't just stop and take a break even if I wanted to. I have all of you to take care of and help feed and get in money-" 

He was interrupted when Hosea put his hand on Arthur's shoulder and looked at him " Arthur... You're a human being, you're allowed to be stressed and want a break. You work hard I don't think you realise how much you actually do for the camp cause you're so used to it. " He moved his hand away and then took a deep breath. " Why don't you go on a camping trip for a few days, pick a spot you like and head there. Take someone with you!" 

Arthur looked at him and laughed " Take someone?... like who." He tilted his head and Hosea hummed in thought before looking back at him. 

" Why not that uh, Kieran boy? He's being even nervier right now... Seen him apologise to Abigail about 10 times at this point. Plus, you've been getting closer to him. Fishing and getting him that tent and the new clothes." He smiled and Arthur's face just went bright red, clearing his throat and looking away.

" Well the boy slept in the rain, wasn't gonna let him sleep in the mud anymore was I... Aint that cruel." Arthur looked at his feet, not seeing Hosea's knowing smile as he patted his arm.

" Nah, of course you aren't. But it was you wasn't it, everyone thinks it was Mary-Beth since those two are close. But I raised you, I can tell. It was very nice of you. I think you two would have fun." He shrugged and Arthur went to speak but Hosea held up his hand " Don't worry I'll clear it with Dutch so he knows Kieran's with you."

At that Arthur nodded, standing and then patting Hosea's shoulder " Thanks, I'll be back before the week is over I promise."

He gave him a soft smile and Hosea waved him off, letting out a soft sigh once Arthur was out of earshot. "... Here we go again." 

Arthur packed up, the things he'd need. Clothes, ammo ( just in case ), food. And then. looked over his map, humming to himself as he thought of where they could go. He wanted to be _away_ from the camp, so no Lemoyne. Arthur was thinking more... New Hanover/ Ambarino. There were some nice spots up that way, along with an abandoned cabin they could stay in that he'd already cleared out. Once he had his plan he headed out of his bedroom and downstairs, grabbing some lunch before he went to find Kieran. 

Kieran was sat outside of his tent, working on the saddles and just In a world of his own. Arthur going over to him and smiling softly "You busy, Duffy? I need to talk to you..." 

The brunet looked up, giving the old man a smile. " Hi, Arthur... Uh, I can talk, what is it?" he set the saddle down and then stood up, taking a step towards Arthur. 

Arthur put his hands in his pockets and shrugged " well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to come camping with me? Just for a few days. Have permission too so you won't get in trouble but. Up to you..." he shrugged and looked at the floor. 

Kieran looked at him, tilting his head a little and nodding " Sure did, did someone say no or-" he went to continue when Arthur shook his head, holding up his hand. 

" No, no. You're the first one I wanted to ask. With everything going on I thought you'd wanna relax a little? You seem even more anxious than normal. So do you wanna or.. no. It's fine if you don't, I'm a miserable bastard I wouldn't wanna spend five minutes alone in the woods with me." He laughed softly and looked at the brunet who shook his head, giving Arthur a smile. 

" I'd love to go, let me pack up and we can head off! go get Pepper ready." He smiled brightly and hurried over to his tent, starting to pack stuff up. Arthur couldn't help but feel excited, he was going camping with Kieran! _Kieran!_ this was gonna be a genuinely nice trip. As long as they didn't get into trouble, he hoped they wouldn't. They were gonna be up North so he doubted it. So Arthur went over to Pepper, patting her side and just double checking he had everything. When he was sure he did he hopped on Pepper and waited for Kieran, who was flitting around. Packing up stuff and running over to Branwen, putting his tent and bedroll all rolled up on his back. Hopping on and nodding at Arthur, as if to say ' lead the way!' so he did.

The ride was slow, and it was pretty nice honestly. They just walked the horses, no rush at all. Talking every now and then, and sometimes just being in comfortable silence. Just two fellers on the road with their horses, enjoying each other's company. As well as the scenery... which was pretty nice, as much as Arthur didn't like being this far east he couldn't deny how pretty it was. The trees and the lush grass and the animals roaming around looked like something from a painting. No wonder that Albert Mason liked to nature photos around here. 

It was around 5/6 pm when Arthur led Kieran off of the road and onto a patch of grass, facing the distant mountains. The view was very pretty, that was undeniable. They were still in Lemoyne technically but they were just a short ride from Emerald Ranch. Arthur just thought this was a nice place to rest for the night, before continuing the ride North. So the pair set up camp, made dinner and ate watching the sunset. When night fell they were just relaxing by the fire, sat in silence and looking at the sky. Arthur looked over at Kieran, clearing his throat " So uh... How are you holding up Kier? Everything okay?" 

Kieran looked at Arthur and then let out a sigh, turning his head back to the fire " Not- Not really. I'm so on edge... Sean nearly died. Jack got taken and I-I SAW the fellas that took him. Any minute in camp I feel like... You could cut the air with a blunt knife... You know what I mean?"

The blond nodded and took off his hat, rubbing his face. " I know what you mean Kieran... It's. It ain't nice at all right now. Hence why we're out here. Getaway for a bit, clear our heads." He leaned back, turning his head up to the sky. "... Hopefully, soon we'll get Jack back and it'll all be okay again... We can do that ' last job' get the hell outta here." 

Arthur didn't notice but Kieran scooted a bit closer to him, looking up at the sky too and sighing through his nose. " Yeah... Can I ask you something?" before Arthur could answer, the brunet looked at him, tilting his head. " How come you seem to care more about Jack than John does- well did. "

The older man glanced at him, shrugging"... That's a long answer, but. John left for a year when Jack was only one. Questioned if Jack was his, his ability to be a dad and bolted. Pissed me off, I helped Abigail as much as I could. When he came back it was like the 'Golden boy' hadn't ever left... Felt like hitting him, for taking a thing like that for granted. Ever since I resented him for it. " Arthur let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. " His boy going missing shouldn't have to be the kick up the ass to make him give a shit. "

Kieran frowned, looking down at the grass. " I don't think I could do that, specially after losing my Ma and Pa. If I _ever_ had a kid I'd never take any moment for granted. Would you?" He looked back at the older man and froze, seeing the pained expression flash across Arthur's face. " A-Arthur you okay?" He reached out and put a hand on his arm. 

The blond snapped out of it, nodding his head quickly " Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine... Just. I did. I took it for granted. One of the biggest mistakes I ever made, I won't lie to ya." He rubbed his eyes, not wanting to look at Kieran and see his reaction. He'd barely ever mentioned his boy, to anyone. But. Here he was. Kieran reached over and gently took hold of his hand, making the older man pause and look at their hands. Kieran's thumb running over Arthur's knuckles. Fuck. When he lifted his head to look at the other, his expression was soft and reassuring. Put him at ease, which was really nice. Kind of expression that let him know he was okay and that he could talk if he wanted, so he did. He explained the whole thing, well minus the meaningless details. He didn't want to ramble.

Once he was finished Kieran squeezed his hand, nodding and letting out a sigh. Pulling Arthur's hand forward and pulling him into a hug. Running his hand over Arthur's broad back. "... I'm sorry for your loss. I am. I bet you were great with him. Cause you're great with Jack... Really. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me, I uh. Never thought I'd get to know something that personal about you... I-if I'm honest." 

Arthur had really needed that hug, he just melted into it. Wrapping his arms around Kieran and resting his forehead on his shoulder. All the tension slipping off of his shoulders. "... Well. I trust you. Plus... gotta let you get to know me a little if you're gonna be in the gang, don't I?" 

" I know but... thank you. For trusting me. It means a lot." Kieran's voice was soft and comforting and after another minute he pulled back. Grabbing Arthur's hat and putting it on the older man's head " C'mon let's get some sleep... " He pushed himself up and gave Arthur a soft smile " Night, Arthur. " 

Arthur watched him go to his tent and nodded " Night Kier..." He smiled softly and then sighed, pushing himself up onto his knees with a groan. Shit, he was getting old, his body made him feel like he was 50, not 36. Once he was fully up he put out the fire for the night before going in his tent and heading to bed. He'd need the rest for the day ahead, he had a fun trip planned. He wanted to enjoy it.

The next morning they didn't really sit around, they just ate, packed up and then left on Branwen and Pepper. Arthur's plan was for them to ride up just into Ambarino, stay in a little cabin called Martha's swain. He'd cleared it out a while back. Didn't need Kieran seeing what was in there before that. But it was a good spot, hard to spot immediately from the path so he knew they’d be fine. Then they’d go see some interesting places near Annesburg, go fishing maybe. It was a loose plan! Just in case they figured out they wanted to do anything else. So they rode up, got settled and over the next few days they had a really nice time. They fished up at O'Creagh's Run, saw the trail trees Arthur had found, some old tomb, saw a house that had a meteor through the roof, and hell they even saw a huge one that shifted a bunch of trees. They had a really nice time, acted like they weren't in trouble or had to go back. It was just the two of them. It was a really nice feeling.

Arthur felt lucky he got to have this alone time with Duffy, got to loosen up. Not worry that someone would make fun of him and make him all embarrassed. Sure Arthur was a fully grown man, but shit he could already hear the other gang members teasing him at the back of his head. His feelings for Kieran made him feel like a teenage boy, all shy and embarrassed. If _one_ of the boys even mentioned his like for Kieran he was sure his face would explode, or at least turn redder than a box of dynamite. 

But thankfully that wasn't the case right now, he was riding back to Shady Belle. The thought filled him with dread honestly, the feeling there just. Something was off.. he couldn't place it... he just hated it. At least, for now, he was just riding with Kieran down south, both of em going really slow. Like they both knew once they got back they couldn't act like they had whilst away, they'd been laughing and smiling... being happy. It was shit having to go home. 

Once they were down by Emerald Ranch, Arthur decided to do one last stop before they made it to Lemoyne. Taking a turn to head towards Cornwall Kerosene and Tar, Kieran didn't question it till they stopped next to a rock with names and initials carved on it. Arthur hopping off of his horse and going over to it, Kieran just tilting his head and watching him before he did the same. " What are we doing here, Arthur?" He ran his hand over one of the initials. 

Arthur shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck " It sounds dumb but... we dunno how long we're gonna be this way. So. Thought uh. could be nice to... y'know. Put our names on... if- if you wanted." He looked over at him, trying to read the other's expression. 

The lankier guy looked over to him and nodded. " Yeah... I-I think that's a nice idea... uh, how are we gonna do it though? Everyone looks like they used hammers and things." 

Arthur hummed and rubbed his chin as he thought, rummaging through his satchel. He then pulled out an old tent spike and a little hatchet they found at that old tomb. " use these..." He just shrugged, looking for an empty spot before starting to carve their Initials as Kier watched. ' A.M + K.D 1899' shit it kinda looked like something a couple had done... oh well. It's not like anyone but them would know. Kieran found his face heating up reading it, it reminded him of when a couple would carve their name in a dead tree, but this wasn't _anything_ like that right? they were just friends. Buddies. Sadly.

Once it was done, Arthur had pulled out his camera and took a photo of the carving. He'd get that developed later just as a nice keepsake. He already had done a bunch of sketches in his journal over this trip, but he liked having the photos up in his room He was a sentimental man. 

Then when they were all finished they continued the ride back, going a tiny bit faster and just riding in comfortable silence. Seeing the big dilapidated manor house down the path, the unease came back. Here they were... back at camp. Back to barely speaking and being errand boys, Arthur hated it as did Kieran. But they couldn't do anything about it. So they just hitched up the horses and Arthur headed up to the house.

Kieran got off of Branwen with a sigh, patting his side. Not hearing the soft footsteps coming up behind him, Mary-Beth stopping a few feet behind him. " Have fun, Kieran?" She said cheerfully, Kieran nearly jumping out of his skin. Turning quickly to look at her and sighing.

" Jesus, Mary and Joseph... Hi." He waved and let out a weak laugh before nodding " I did! yeah... had a lot of fun."

She looked up at him and nodded " Good... You wanna catch up before you get put back to work?" Mary-Beth tilted her head, Kieran nodding. Following behind her as she led him over to her and the girls' wagon, both of them sitting down on the blanket. She looked up at him and smiled softly " I think this is the happiest I've seen you if I'm honest... Was the trip that fun?" 

Kieran sighed and leaned back, nodding " Yeah, we saw so many amazing things. We fished and saw a meteor? and I-... Mary-Beth I. Can I ask you something?" He turned to look at her and she nodded quickly, scooting a bit closer.

" Of course! sure go ahead, I'm all ears... " Her smile was very reassuring, as always. She was such a warm and genuine girl and that always made Kieran feel more at ease. 

He nodded and took a deep breath " Do... Do you think Men who... like other men. Are bad?..."

That question took her back a bit and she looked around, making sure no one was eavesdropping before shaking her head. " No... not at all, I know a lot of people say it's wrong... but it's just love isn't it? Nothing wrong with that at all. Kieran do you..." Her words trailed off but Kieran already knew what she was asking, so he nodded. Mary-Beth nodded, taking hold of his hands. "... Is it Arthur?..." Her voice was a whisper, the man giving her a shaky nod.

"... Y-eah... I feel so stupid. He probably already likes someone, I heard you two talking about that Mary Linton woman... I don't think he'd think of me as anything other than a fool." The brunet let out a shaky sigh as he looked to the ground. 

Mary-Beth shook her head " Don't be silly... her?... Kieran, she's just playing with a lonely man who's self-esteem she tore to the ground. I-it's scary... I know but. Trust me you ain't alone in thinking your feelings are unrequited... and taboo I guess..." 

That made Kieran look at her, raising a brow before what she was saying actually clicked. She was the same, he wasn't alone in this. "... Wait w-who do you like?" 

Before Mary-Beth could even answer, Tilly walked past holding the laundry bucket " Hey you two." She headed over towards the water and Mary-Beth just quickly waved, face heating up as she walked past. Kieran slowly leaned to the side and waved his hand in front of her face, snapping her out of it. Her face turning bright red, letting out a weak laugh.

"... I'm pretty sure I just made it mighty obvious... What can I say, I like a strong woman who can take care of herself!" she shrugged and Kieran, laughing softly and holding up his hands.

" I guess I have the same taste, Just mines a strong man who can take care of himself..." At that, they both giggled and smiled. Having someone to relate to with a thing like this was comforting, at least they had each other to talk to about it now. After a few minutes of laughing, Mary-Beth paused, noticing something poking out of Kieran's pocket. She reached over and slowly pulled it out, gasping before showing it to Kieran. 

It was a note, on the bottom of another drawing. This time it was of Kieran, not his face but it was of him fishing. Kieran's eyes widened and then he frowned "... You'll have to read it, I can't.." he sighed " His writing looks nice though."

Mary-Beth nodded, clearing her throat as she started to read. Putting on a deeper voice and trying her hardest to do a Mid-western accent "Kieran, I had a lot of fun on this trip with you. I have to say it's been the nicest time I've had in years. Maybe we can do it again sometime-" Her eyes went wide as she snapped out of the accent, gasping. " Kierannnnn!" She reached over and shook his shoulder before giving him the piece of paper back. 

His face went red as he processed what he had said, do it again? did he want to have alone time with him again? shit he thought he was gonna pass out. Him and Arthur Morgan, best shooter he's ever seen, the most handsome man he'd ever met wanted to spend time with him on more than one occasion. 

Fuck he was in love with this man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this one! I finished my uni work last week and was official done on Tuesday so I just wanted a break. I finished rdr1 and 2 and cried my eyes out at both. Also I’ve done the drawing the Kieran did for Arthur of Branwen! So if people want me to post that under chapter one I will!


	5. One thing after another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's back and everyone is a bit wasted, Including Arthur and Kieran.

Jack was home, John was sorta happy, Abigail wasn't tryna kill everyone. Things were goin' pretty good considering. Everyone was drinking and singing as Javier played his guitar. It felt like - for now - everything was gonna be okay. Arthur was just glad to have Jack home safe, hell he helped raise him for a damn year when John left. Kid meant a lot to him. So seeing him smiling with Abigail and John, made running away from the law in the cemetery worth it. He was safe, that's all that mattered. 

But everyone was just drinking and laughing and talking. Arthur had been sat by the campfire with everyone, a bottle of whisky in his hand. Just sipping at it, it was his second bottle he didn't wanna be falling over like the last time he drank. That night with Lenny was fun but the hangover was horrible, so was waking up in the middle of nowhere with no horse. So tonight he'd take it slow and if he got drunk, he'd not get as drunk. Tipsy at most. But he was basically there already. Once Javier had finished up the current song, everyone cheered and clapped and then split off to go sit around and talk or drink more. So Arthur pushed himself off of the log he was sat on, downing the last of his whiskey before letting out a sigh. Walking over to Pearsons's wagon and grabbing some food, which was right next to where Kieran was standing. 

He was just stood, sipping a beer idly and watching everyone have fun. The poor boy looked like he didn't know what to do, despite Karen trying to get him involved in the party. He just stood there. Arthur's head turned towards him and he thought for a second, grabbing a little bread roll and going to stand next to him. Leaning back against the counter and folding his arms " Having fun Kier?" he turned his head towards him and arched a brow.

Kieran's eyes widened and he quickly turned to face him " Me? oh- oh yeah! I'm just... not a partier. I guess." Letting out a weak laugh he rubbed his arm and looked away.

At that Arthur Just nodded and shrugged, taking a bite from the bread roll. Not speaking again until his mouth was clear " Yeah, kinda guessed. You uh, want another drink? that bottle is nearly empty." He nudged him gently and then stood up straight. 

Kieran smiled softly and shrugged " Sure, why not." At that Arthur nodded, going around to the little washing station around the back of the wagon. Reaching into the box and pulling out two bottles of beer, before going back. Holding Kieran's out to him, trying to ignore the fact their fingers brushed against each other as he grabbed it. " Thank you, you feeling okay Arthur? less stressed?" The younger man asked, opening the new bottle up.

Arthur sighed, leaning back and rubbing his face " Yeah, everyone is home and safe. Abigail ain't threatening me. All is good" He let out a weak laugh and looked at Kieran, thinking for a second before standing straight. " Cmon let's go somewhere else and talk before we start to hear Micah and Bill ramble at the campfire." He gestured for Kieran to follow him, heading towards the little gazebo by the river. Kieran following close behind. Once inside it, they both sat on the floor in front of the sandbags. Arthur just opening up the beer he got for himself with his teeth. The pair sitting in silence for a moment before Kieran spoke up.

" You know... Joining this outfit was. The best thing I think I've ever done... Even if it was. Forced." He turned his head to look at the older man next to him " I mean, I'd like to think so. Doubt everyone here would agree with me. " He shrugged and then looked away, pausing when he felt an elbow nudge his side. 

"... well, I do. You've had a real rough time, I know I ain't been the nicest. None of us have. But you're one of us now, people are starting to warm up to you. Charles, Javier, hell even Bill." He took another swig and the sighed. " But. I hope I can make up for well, everything. Hog tying ya, threatening you, saying for you to just go after Six-point cabin. I owe you. I mean it." 

Kieran just looked at Arthur and gave him a weak smile " Y-you made up for that already you fool. You gave me a tent, a bed, clothes. y-you. You and Mary-Beth are the nicest people I've met in a long time. I mean it, Arthur. You're a very sweet man, I don't think you give yourself enough credit."

He nudged Arthur, who just laughed and shook his head " I know a lot of people who wouldn't agree with you, Kieran."

The brunet paused and raised a brow " Like who? Everyone in camp, bar Micah, thinks highly of you. Me included. You ain't some evil man, you've done what you had to do. You think you're a cold bastard but, I don't know any other man who will help as much as you have. " He huffed and Arthur just looked at him in shock, slowly tilting his head as he thought of what to say.

"... I uh, never knew you thought of me that highly Kieran. Never thought you would." He rubbed the back of his neck, Kieran scooting in closer and shrugged. Shit, they were very close right now, bodies inches apart. Arthur could feel the warmth coming from Kieran they were that close.

The younger man gave him a sweet smile and leaned up, it was now super obvious he was pretty tipsy. Same as Arthur, cheeks were flushed and his words were slurring just a bit. It was pretty cute. He giggled and looked up at him " Course I do, It's you! Arthur Morgan, the best shooter of the Van Der Linde Gang! One of the most reliable, hardworking and definitely one of the most handsome." He laughed and lightly hit his arm. Not seeing Arthur's face turn bright red at the ' Handsome' part. 

"... You. Think I'm handsome? Actually?" his voice was soft, and he leaned down to look Kieran in the eyes. Which made his heart start to beat faster.

Kieran's eyes went wide when it suddenly clicked what he had said " I-I uh... yeah. Yeah, I do actually..." His words slowly trailed off as it suddenly felt like it was just the two of them, alone. The sounds of Javier's guitar and people talking were muffled. It was just Arthur and Kieran, inches away from each other with eyes locked. Kieran's hand slowly moved and took hold of Arthur's as they leaned in further and further.

" What is wrong with me? what is wrong with _you?_ What is wrong with _you?!"_ The yelling from across camp made Kieran jump, Arthur peering out the gazebo and sighing. It was Molly, yelling in Dutch's face, which held a blank expression. Saying he ruined her life and sounding on the verge of tears. Kieran peeked around Arthur's shoulder and frowned. Poor girl, she'd actually been pretty nice to Kieran. They had shared the carriage when they first moved down here, she was nice behind all the pain she was carrying. The pair watched as she bolted into the house, crying. Kieran sighed and shook his head. " She seems awfully upset..." 

Arthur leaned back and frowned " Yeah, she's been upset a lot lately. Have a feeling she's just gonna leave at some point. Don't think I'd blame her..." he rubbed his arm and then sighed, pushing himself up. " I think I'm uh. Gonna hit the hay, a bit tired after running around the cemetery..." He yawned, stretching out and then looking down at Kieran. " Have a fun rest of your night, go sit with the rest of em." He smiled softly, gently patting the top of his hat and heading out of the gazebo. Kieran smiling softly and waving as he watched him head inside. Kinda wishing he'd stay, but oh well. More alcohol for him. 

The next few days, Arthur had been busy. He had ridden around, helping _more_ people. Shit, maybe Kieran was right, not like he'd say that out loud that he may actually not be a bastard. But oh well. He went to some stupid high-class party held by the Mayor of Saint Denis, helped Mr Mason again, got Tilly from Anthony foreman. It was a lot. So he'd been gone a good 4 days? and he was finally back at camp. Riding in on Pepper and hitching her up, giving her an Oatcake and an Apple. Then just going to grab lunch, he was just about to put some stew in a bowl when he heard a commotion behind him.

" Have you seen Kieran, Mr Pearson?" It was Mary-Beth, she sounded very worried. Very on edge and anxious which was unlike her.

" No, my child, I have not, I've not seen anyone I've been working..." Pearson sighed and set his knife down. Arthur stood up straight and turned towards them and before he could even blink, Mary-Beth was right in front of him.

" Arthur, have you seen Kieran anywhere? I- I know you've been busy but. After the party, I ain't seen him _or_ Branwen anywhere..." She frowned and looked up at him with big puppy dog eyes. Arthur's heart just sank, shit. Shit, this was not happening. He immediately dropped the bowl on the floor and walked past the wagon, looking around. She was right. Nowhere in sight. He quickly started to head towards Kieran's tent and Mary-Beth followed close behind. Pulling open the tent he peeked in and frowned, stuff was still there. The drawings and the note he'd left were pinned to the tent wall. But no Kieran. 

He stood up straight and rubbed his face in an attempt to calm himself down, the younger woman behind him frowning. " What's wrong Arthur?... You okay?" She slowly reached out and touched his arm gently.

Arthur looked at her and shook his head " I-I _knew_ something was wrong, shoulda listened when he said the O'driscolls would be after us... I saw some of his boys up in valentine. Was going to get some food, when uh they saw me and said ' Isn't he the one who rides with Kieran Duffy' and jumped me." 

Mary-Beth's eyes went wide and she frowned, covering her mouth " O-oh god. You don't think they- They don't have him, do they? " The man took a deep breath before he quickly went over to his horse, Mary still right behind him. " Hey! Where are you going?" She called after him, looking up at him with a frown.

Arthur stopped and turned to look at her "... I know where he'll be. Same place I was. I ain't- Mary-Beth." He took a step closer and looked down at her " I ain't letting those bastards do anything to the fella I-" He froze, quickly stopping himself from finishing that sentence.

But Mary already knew what he was gonna say, nodding and stepping back. " I know... be careful, okay? Want me to tell Dutch?" She tilted her head and held her hands to her chest. Watching as Arthur pulled himself up onto Pepper and shook his head. 

" No, tell Hosea. He'll be more understanding. If any of those boys show up you make sure you get everyone inside you hear me?" he looked down at her and she nodded quickly. Arthur just nodded and reached down, patting the top of her head before he sped off down the path. He wasn't gonna lose Kieran, no way in Hell.

It was pretty late by the time he got to Lone Mule Stead. But it would have been later if he hadn't ridden along the damn train tracks. Cause as luck would have it, the hideout was right by Bard's Crossing. The same bridge that he had to pull Reverend off of a month or two ago after that poker game. It was late so not many trains were about, so he and Pepper went right across and got off of the track just as they got to Riggs station. Slowing down before they got to the actual hideout so they'd not hear him coming. Here we go, he was ready. He was gonna do whatever he had to, to get him out of there.

The good thing about this place was that it was small. Literally a shack and a shed. About 5/6 guards at most, this would be easy if he did it right. That was his plan. He was gonna sneak up, quietly kill a few of em. Get Kieran and run. Would it actually work? guess he'd find out. He slowly sneaked down into the bushes, making sure he wouldn't be seen. He took a deep breath as he looked around, pausing when he heard voices up ahead. Two men coming out the cellar and laughing. 

" That little bastard surprised he didn't give up within in the first few hours." The first man huffed, Irish accent thick and heavy. 

" Yeah, but he seems awfully loyal to Dutch and his boys now. He's a traitor. and a coward... doubt he'll be quiet when we gauge those eyes of his out." The second voice was very American. But what he said is what hit Arthur more. Shit. Yeah, he was not letting that happen. No way. He waited until the pair split up before sneaking up behind him and pulling out his knife. Plunging it him andddd he was gone. 1 down 5 to go. After that fucker was down he managed to kill the other guard that came out of the cellar. 2/5 down. After that he heard a whimper coming from the cellar, head quickly turning towards it as he heard another voice. As muffled as it was Arthur could still make out what was being said, slowly moving closer to the cellar so he could hear. Trying to peek in between the gaps of the wood. 

" You know Duffy, we knew you were a coward... didn't expect you to go run Dutch and his boys. What do you think? they hate you as much as we did? see you just as useless and pathetic?" after came a thud which made Arthur wince. 

"N-no... they. They like me... treat me... like a human. Unlike you bastards-" another thud and a cry of pain. God Arthur was starting to feel angry, very fucking angry. But he was trying to hold back and wait for the right time to jump in and get Kieran. 

" You know, some of our boys saw Dutch's loyal retriever the other day. Up in Valentine... not even looking for you. I don't think he cares you're gone do you? Don't you think he would have come for you now, Duffy?" after that came a moment of eery quiet. As if Kieran was thinking about the answer. 

"... I-I He would. He wouldn't leave me here... he's just busy..." Kieran whimpered and sniffled, and you could hear the chains shuffling on the floor.

"... Yeah right. He's probably sat with his daddy, glad you ain't bothering them anymore." The guy laughed and then sighed, and after that, it was just noises of Kieran's pain and thuds. It made Arthur feel sick, he couldn't just sit and listen anymore. He slowly opened up the cellar door and went down the stairs as quiet as possible, sneaking up behind the guy and choking him out before letting him hit the floor. Taking a deep breath as he looked at a battered, bruised and dishevelled Kieran. Who was looking up at him, both in shock and relief. Bruises around his eyes and neck and tears streaming down his face, he'd been through hell, poor boy.

The older man went over and knelt down next to him, gently cupping his face. " I've got you... I've got you it's okay." He spoke softly, then reaching down and picking the locks on his ankles. " I wasn't gonna leave you here... I wasn't gonna let them hurt you. now cmon. let's get your stuff and run." He reached down and gently scooped him up, Kieran whimpering in pain and Arthur apologizing quietly. Slowly sneaking back out the cellar. Going to the shed where the weapons were kept, grabbing Kieran's things. Luckily for them, the rest of the bastards seemed to be drinking in the shack. So they had enough time to run. He went over to Branwen and unhitched him. Branwen following them as they headed back up to where Pepper was in the trees and bushes up the way. 

Kieran was then set onto Peppers back, Arthur pulling himself up in front of him. Letting out a sigh as he felt Kieran cling onto his back " T-thank you..." He whimpered and looked up at Arthur " T-hey were gonna... K-kill me... And. S-send my." He covered his mouth and whimpered, the older man putting his hand over Kieran's. Giving it a soft reassuring squeeze, which seemed to help a little.

" I've got you. It's okay we're going back home you'll be safe. " He gave him a weak smile and the younger man nodded weakly, resting his head against his back as they headed back up to the train station and rode back down the tracks. The whole ride home Kieran was just thinking to himself, Arthur had saved him. He came and got him from those evil bastards. They were gonna kill him in the most horrible way and then make his body ride into camp before they shot the place up. He was lucky he had someone like Arthur around to save him honestly.

They got back to camp at around 6 am, once back, Arthur, Charles and Mary-Beth managed to get Kieran inside so he could rest on the couch. Arthur spoke with Dutch and Hosea and they started to prep for. well. The O'Driscolls coming and shooting the place up. Windows boarded up, more people staying inside etc. That did happen, the same day around 4 pm, no one hurt luckily just a bunch of bodies to dump in the swamps. They were gonna have to move and soon, otherwise, it would just be wave after wave of O'Driscolls, Pinkertons, the law. Who knows. But Dutch had his plan and they just needed another damn score. Fuck knows if that was gonna work. They'd have to find out. 

It took a week, for Kieran to feel fully better. He was still sore in places but he was fine, still sleeping inside but no one blamed him. He was just going about his day, working with the horses and keeping to himself when he saw Arthur. Riding back into camp, scruffy and exhausted with a big deer on the back of Pepper. Taking it up to Pearson's wagon so the camp would have some decent meat in the stew. But as he was walking away he was met by Micah. Arthur sighed and looked at the older man with a frown. " What do you want Micah, what is it?" He folded his arms and looked at him.

Micah laughing softly " Oh nothing, just never thought you'd be on the side of a cowardly little rat..." he folded his arms and just stared at him with those, beady fucking eyes.

Arthur paused and took a step towards him, did he hear that right? he narrowed his eyes and stared right back at him " 'Scuse me? what's that supposed to mean..."

" You know exactly what I mean, Morgan. That O'driscoll boy, he's a rat and a traitor. No doubt he told those boys where we were so they could come kill us." Micah held up his hands, but Arthur's expression just got angrier. 

" So how does that explain how, oh you know. They came to our camp and got him? How does it explain that... he ain't even left camp by himself!" As his voice got louder everyone's attention was drawn to the two, not just Kieran's. God, you could the air with a blunt knife it was that tense.

after that Micah just scoffed and took a few steps closer, getting right in his face. " He did with you, didn't he? What I think happened is that you and that mangey little rat. On your little invert vacation, told the O'driscolls where we were on purpose. You've been doubting Dutch a lot lately I wouldn't put it past you Morgan."

"... You watch that mouth of yours, Micah, I ain't scared of you. None of us are, hell most of the women here would way rather take their chances with the town drunk than coming to you. You're pathetic." He rolled his eyes and turned, going to walk away when he heard that bastard's laugh behind him.

" And I'm supposed to be scared of some closeted invert, who'd rather rat out his own family to jump the bones of the traitor stable boy? You know what, Why don't you and that little freak go to Colm O'Driscoll and ask for a little couples cabin on the camp! I'm sure he'd accommodate you both.-" Before he could say anything else Arthur had spun around and clocked him in the Jaw, then grabbing the collar of his shirt and pushing him down on the floor. 

The rest of what happened was a blur, but mostly Micah trying to hit Arthur and get up. That was till Charles and John ran over and Pulled Arthur off of him. Saying he wasn't worth it and for him to go cool off, pushing him towards the house. No one helped Micah up, unsurprisingly, he had to scramble to get up and walked towards the edge of camp. Arthur just stormed inside, heading up to his room and slamming the door.

Micah knew exactly how to piss him off, in every way. At least he finally got to clock the bastard, hard enough that his right hand was starting to bruise. Was worth it though. For about 10 minutes Arthur just sat on his bed, trying to calm himself down. Till he heard a gentle knock on the door. His head flicked up and he cleared his throat " Come in..."

The door slowly opened and Kieran poked his head In, giving him a weak smile. " You okay Arthur? " He spoke softly, kinda cautious. He knew the other was irritable when he was annoyed. But Arthur just sighed and nodded, patting the spot next to him. So Kieran slowly went over and sat by his side. " You hit him hard huh." He gestured to Arthur's hand.

Arthur held it up and nodded " Yeah, but I'll be fine. Micah won't be able to talk right for a few days hopefully." He shrugged and then looked at Kieran, frowning when he saw the look on Kieran's face. 

".. I'm sorry. All I seem to do is cause bother... " He frowned and then looked down at his lap. " If I stopped those Braithwaites Jack wouldn't have gone missing... If I didn't get drunk the O'Driscolls wouldn't have taken me... and then Micah wouldn't have said all that to you..." 

Arthur put a hand on his arm and rubbed it " Don't say that... those boys would've come anyway Kieran, they knew where we were... Ain't your fault. And hell, ain't your fault Micah is a bastard." He let out a soft laugh. " So smile okay, you got to see me nearly knock him out"

Kieran smiled softly and looked up at him " You really can punch.." he giggled and then sighed " Can. Can I ask why you defended me?... None of you have before so... Just. wonder why."

That made Arthur pause, now. He could be honest here or lie. Him and Kieran were alone for the first time since the party... he could talk to him, right? He could say the real reason why he defended him and saved him. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the fact his heart was pounding and his stomach felt like was gonna come up his throat. "... Me and you, are a lot closer than we were when we first met. We've been fishing, went away on a trip... we talk a lot and... everything." He cleared his throat and then stood up, taking a few paces before he looked down at him. "... Kieran I. This is gonna sound, really odd. And if you- if you don't like what I say it's fine... I like you. A lot. I haven't liked someone this much in- shit, 16 years! I defended you cause I wasn't gonna let that bastard say you were a rat. You're sweet and gentle and damn you wouldn't hurt a fly... I saved you cause I wasn't gonna let those bastards kill the fella I was in love with..."

After he said that the room got way too quiet, Kieran's eyes were wide with shock. Looking up at Arthur as his face went red, blush spreading to his ears. But Arthur was going pale, considering Kieran still hadn't even said anything. Fuck he felt like he was gonna be sick, this was a mistake. He shouldn't have said anything at all, he should've stayed quiet and just said he was his friend. His hands had gone all clammy and started to shake. Watching Kieran stand up and walk up to him, and for once he was stood up fully straight. You could see he was actually a tiny bit taller than Arthur. But Arthur was more focused on the fact he was very very close. 

"... You are a strange man, Arthur. Never known for a 36-year-old man to look so nervous before." He giggled and slowly took Arthur's hand in his own, lacing their fingers. Slowly leaning in close to the older man's face. "... I love you too... Really. "

After that Arthur let out a shaky breath and couldn't help but laugh softly. " Well, that's good to know. Jesus, I thought you were gonna hit me... Can I ask something this time, Kier?" At that, Kieran responded with a shallow nod. "... Can I kiss you?" He squeezed the other's hand gently and tilted his head.

The brunet paused for a second before quickly nodding but before he could say anything Arthur had brought up his other hand to cup his cheek. Leaning in and kissing him. He was actually very gentle. It was gentle and loving and it was so nice, Kieran leaning into it and wrapping his arm around Arthur's waist. They parted after a moment and Arthur smiled softly "... wanna go for a ride? I wanna get out of camp for a little" He spoke low.

Kieran smiled and nodded " I'd love that, cmon let's go out the back door." He stepped back, leading Arthur out of his room and downstairs. Still holding onto his hand. 

Who knew all it would take for him to finally tell him how he felt, would be the camp bully pissing him off. If he knew that he would have fought with Micah earlier. But... Arthur was just happy to finally have Kieran as his boyfriend. He was gonna try have as much romantic time with him that he could, he'd heard Dutch talking about what their next move was... He didn't wanna lose out on time with Kieran before he got to busy.

Doubt that would happen though, wasn't like he was gonna be going anywhere anytime soon was it? No, course not. He had all the time in the world for sneaking off together and going on dates. It would be fine. If they really became... Mango Farmers or whatever in Tahiti... least they could have picnics at the beach. That would be if Dutch's plan even worked if he had one at all. But no time to worry about all that bullshit. He was gonna go out for a ride alone, with Kieran and he was gonna have fun. He could worry when he got back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was a lot! sorry! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. It's all gone to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things literally can't get any worse can they... well maybe they can.

It had been 2 weeks since Arthur and Kieran got together and went for their little ride. It was honestly kind of fun to sneak around together, they'd go on rides or go fishing. It was really nice... even if for obvious reasons they couldn't be open. Unless they wanted to be lynched or something. So going out in secret has to do for now. But secret dates were gonna have to wait, today was the day of the big bank robbery. Kieran was so nervous, God only knows how this was gonna go... watching Arthur and everyone ride out of camp made his stomach go in knots. He didn't want anyone to get hurt, or die or get arrested. He just wanted this last score to go well, so this was over. But it was gonna be a long shot...

The Pinkertons would hunt them down, they'd have to get a boat to wherever Dutch wanted them to go and try live life on the run. Whether or not this would work, they'd find out in an hour or two. So while the boys were up in Saint Denis, Kieran sat with Mary-Beth and they just sat in a semi-comfortable silence. Mary-Beth reading one of her romance novels and he was just resting against her. Trying to keep himself calm, but that was proving to be very hard. He looked up at Mary and sighed "... Mary-Beth can I ask you a question?..."

She closed her book and set it in her lap, nodding. " Of course... go ahead. What's wrong..."

He sighed and sat up straight, looking at her. "... Do you think this is gonna go okay? "

She set the book on the floor and turned to face him, taking hold of his hand and stroking the back with her thumb “... I dunno... but I _do_ know, that those boys will give it their all. Okay?” She smiled softly at him, just trying to make him feel a little bit better. 

And honestly? It actually did. Kieran took a deep breath and nodded, pushing himself up off the floor. “ I’m gonna go inside, okay? Try calm myself down a bit.” He headed inside as Mary-Beth waved and watched with a soft smile as he went inside the big old house. 

Once inside, Kieran slumped against the heavy doors with a soft sigh. Then going to walk down the hall, pausing after he passed the first doorway on the right. Hearing a voice behind him he jumped a little, instantly he knew it belonged to Sean. It was impossible to mistake it for anyone else’s voice. Sean looked at the brunet through the doorway and narrowed his eye “ Oi, O’Driscoll boy-“

Before Sean could even finished his sentence, Kieran whipped his head to look at him “ S-orry, I uh. Didn’t know anyone else was inside... I’m gonna go upstairs and leave you alone, don’t worry!” He let out a forced laugh and went to leave. He didn’t want to get another headbutt from him.

” I wasn’t gonna-... will you just c’mere! I’ve been sat by meself _all_ day!” Sean smiled and patted the spot next to him on the couch, Kieran looked over and hesitantly went over. Taking up the spot Sean offered. He never really knew how to speak to him, he was always scared of pissing him off. But, after getting his eye shot out... Sean seemed actually a lot nicer. Didn’t make Kieran any less afraid though.

They just sat in silence for a moment before Kieran cleared his throat “ So u-uh. How you holding up? After... everything. “ He didn’t look at Sean, he just kept his eyes focused on his lap. 

Sean sighed and leaned back “ Better, now my eye socket doesn’t feel like it’s bloody throbbing.” He put his hand over the bandaged that was wrapped around his head. He didn’t wanna wear a patch or anything, even he knew after that he’d look like ‘ a right twat’ and ‘ a pirate’. So until he could get a fake eye, bandages it was. “ How about you? Those O’Driscoll bastards really roughed you up eh? Good thing English came to your rescue.” He gently nudged Kieran’s side.

The older man blushed softly and nodded “ Yeah, I’m lucky. If it weren’t for Arthur, I would’ve been dead. And without him, Micah probably would’ve called me worse stuff and blamed a bunch of shit on me too..”

” Aye, what a fucking bastard he is... he should’ve been the one shot in Rhodes.” Sean huffed and folded his arms, shaking his head. “ He’s just evil. I think a lot of us see that, but he’s right in Dutch’s ear so we can’t say shite about it.” 

Kieran nodded and finally lifted his head to look at the other “ Yeah, I can’t win with him anyway so I ain’t gonna bother... Hell I can’t win with a lot of you!-“ He paused when Sean looked at him and raised a brow “ I-I uh... I didn’t mean it like-“ 

“ I get it. We’ve all treated you like shite, despite you being nothing but nice. Honestly if me Da saw how I treated you, he’d give me a right good smack on the back of my head” Sean did a smacking motion in the air as he spoke before sighing. “ I guess.. what I’m trying to say is. I’m sorry for being a bastard... I am. If Arthur and Charles and the girls like ya. I don’t see why I shouldn’t at least be a decent bloke. Us Irishmen have to stick together after all eh?”

He held up his hands and Kieran just stared at the younger man in shock before nodding “ Th-That’s uh, nice of you Sean. Thank you... “ He smiled softly and then they just sat in silence, before Sean left to go keep Karen company whilst she was on guard duty. Before he left he patted Kieran on the shoulder and smiled down at him and said _‘ Don’t worry, Duffy. It’ll be alright. These are Dutch’s boys we’re on about.’_ Before he left... Sure they were Dutch’s boys.

Doesn’t mean it would be alright... 

After another hour, the sound of a wagon could be heard speeding towards Shady Belle. Kieran perked up and bolted out of the house, face falling when he saw who was on it. A very flustered Abigail and Hosea, who was clutching his side with a blood covered hand. This wasn’t good at all. It was all a blur, everyone getting Hosea off the wagon and whisking him inside to get looked after. Abby talking to the girls and explaining what happened. He was just sat on the edge of the fountain being a nervous wreck, so all he knew so far from overhearing Abby was... John was arrested and the rest were probably waiting it out till it was safe. He felt like he was gonna throw up. Arthur was okay right? They were all okay right? 

The thought that the job went _this_ bad. The thought that someone could be dead made him physically sick. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted Arthur back at camp even if it meant they all had to bolt again. At least he’d be safe. Now it was just another waiting game, a way more anxious one at that. 

The wait for anyone to get back to camp was another 5 hours, everyone sat nervously watching the path leading into camp. Hoping that someone, anyone would ride into camp. Kieran hadn’t really moved from his spot on the edge of the broken fountain. The sound of hooves coming down the dirt path caught his attention. After a moment Charles was the one to ride through the entrance to camp, pulling back Taima’s reins so she came to an abrupt halt. Holding up his hand up to get everyone’s attention. The gang members who were outside looked over to him as he cleared his throat. “ Everyone pack, now. We have to leave!” He called out and got down from his horse.

The rest of the gang members looked at him in shock, but after it sank in what was going on they listened. Hurriedly scrambling together their belongings and putting them in the wagons. Kieran quickly got the horses ready, hooking them to the wagons before he went to look for Charles. He had to know what happened. Even just minor details.

Kieran looked around for a moment before he found Charles and Sadie talking around the back of the house, obviously planning out where they’d be going. Just engrossed in deep conversation until Sadie noticed Kieran, standing there like a little boy waiting to talk to his Mother. “ Horses all ready O’Driscoll?” She looked at him and folded her arms, looking even more serious than usual.

” I ain’t no-... Yes, they’re ready to go.” He sighed in defeat as Sadie pushed herself up from the back porch and brushed off her pants. 

“ Good, We’re leaving in 10 minutes so go pack your things.” She patted his shoulder as she walked past him, Kieran watching her before looking down at Charles. He looked so tired and stressed, it was written all over his face.

The brunet sat himself down next to Charles and looked at him with frown. “ You okay?” The answer was gonna be an obvious one but, still. 

“I’m fine, I guess. Just happy I made it out alive... and You?” He looked at Kieran who paused. Kieran didn’t really know what to say so he just shrugged. 

“ I’m just worried... So- what even happened? no one’s. Dead, right?” He tilted his head and gave Charles a hopeful look. 

Charles shook his head and patted Kieran’s arm “ No, no one’s dead... Lenny got injured, shot in the shoulder but Arthur managed to pull him up. Oh and uh the rest are okay just. They’re on a boat...” at that Kieran’s eyes went wide and he froze, as if his brain was processing what Charles just said.A boat? To where?! Where they even gonna come back at all? Fuck. Before Kieran said anything, Charles spoke up again “ I’m sure they’ll be okay. They didn’t intend on being gone for long. Go get your things we’re heading to a camp near Lakay.” 

At that Kieran just simply nodded, getting up and heading over to his tent. Packing up his things carefully, putting the drawings Arthur had given him In his pocket. Then packing up everything and placing it in the wagons. Not long after everyone was packed up, and they were off. 

The next month was insane, their temporary camp set up was creepy to say the least... skulls and dilapidated shacks. The air was thick and heavy from the surrounding swamps. For the past month everyone was on edge, with them still being close to town there was always the chance of someone finding them. But considering the past tenants of this camp... they doubted anyone would be coming by anytime soon. That and the alligators... after a week or so, Sadie had went back and left a letter for the boys when they got back. So they’d know where to find the new camp. After that it was just a waiting game really. A miserable one. 

Kieran spent most days staring at the muddy path leading into camp. Hoping to see Arthur coming down it, every day he didn’t come he was another day he worried. Sat cleaning the saddles and staring into space, often times being snapped out of it by Mary-Beth or Charles. Asking if he was okay and if he needed anything. But what he needed was his boyfriend home and safe and unharmed.

Sadly Micah, was the first to find everyone. Striding in like he owned the place, expecting a warm welcome. He got the opposite actually, cold glares and looks that said ‘ Oh, it’s you.’ He definitely wasn’t happy... face turning even more sour than normal. Not that anyone cared... especially Kieran, he honestly wished Micah had stayed on that horrible island. Nearly everyone did. But at least once that evil fucker was back, it wasn’t going to be long before everyone was.

It was another few days till someone else was back. Kieran sat at the back of the house, working in the shade. Kieran perked up when he heard a commotion inside, heard that deep, unmistakable voice. Arthur. He took a deep breath, keeping himself calm and just waiting patiently for him to come see him. Pretending he was still working, fully resisting the urge to bolt in and see him.

After half an hour he heard the creak of an old door. The brunet looked up and froze, seeing Arthur stood there. Cleaned up, in his signature clothes and scruffy beard. 

Arthur shut the door behind him and took a few steps forward and shrugging “ Long time no see Kier... I’m sorry- didn’t exactly plan on getting shipwrecked...” He let out a weak laugh and then sighed “ Kieran, I-“

He went to say something else but Kieran dropped the saddle on the floor, standing himself up. Going right over and hugging him tight, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder “ Don’t you dare apologise, Arthur Morgan... I-I’m just glad to have you back... I missed you.” He spoke softly, he really had missed him. Even just hugging him made him feel so much better.

Arthur hugged him back and let out a happy sigh, gripping the back of his shirt.” I missed you too... so much. Was worried sick about you... Has everything been okay here? No ones been bothering you right?” He spoke softly and leaned back, cupping Kieran’s face gently. Kieran shook his head and leaned into his hands and Arthur nodded “ Good, I ain’t afraid of throttling someone.” He let out a soft laugh and then slowly pulled his hands away, sitting down and patting the chair next to him.

Kieran sat himself next to Arthur, sneakily taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “ I know you ain’t, surprised you didn’t kill Micah and hell even Bill when you were away.” 

“ Trust me, Hardest thing... Weren’t the worst though...” He turned his head to look at Kieran and frowned “... Dutch is really scaring me.”

At that the younger man paused and then tilted his head “ He is?... I mean he scared all of us with that plan- what else happened out there?”

The blond sighed and shook his head, lowering his voice a little. Just in case. “ He killed some random old lady, she showed us how to get into town and then asked him for money. Gave her the _last_ bar of gold we had... and choked her, slamming her against a ladder. He-“ Arthur rubbed his face “ He was unhinged, said that she was gonna betray us and that he knew Spanish. Then said it was her actions... Never seen him like that before. He also said that Abby, had something to do with the robbery going bad! I-“ 

Kieran squeezed his hand and frowned “ Hey... Look at me...” Once he had his boyfriend’s attention, he gave him a weak smile. “ I’m sure it was all- Dehydrated, hungry, desperate ramblin’... when people are in a bad situation, they don’t act right. I’m sure, it’s all over and It’ll be alright. Okay?” Arthur took a deep breath and nodded, quickly kissing his cheek.

After that they just sat and spoke till nightfall, catching up. Arthur telling him what happened on Guarma and Kieran telling him everything that happened after they moved. Like how Sean got scared shitless by an Alligator while on watch and made Karen cry laugh. The very few happy things that happened in the past month. That Hosea had gotten a lot better with a month’s rest, and that he just needed to be off of his feet for a while. Which Arthur found very reassuring, as he had pretty much thought he was dead for a month. It wasn’t until late that night that everyone was back, Lenny, Dutch and Javier... Bill had burst in, acting like an angry fool as always. Which pissed everyone off. What made things worse... somehow even more worse than staying in a horrible shack in a scary swamp. Was hearing the whiny voice that belonged to Agent Milton, right outside. Saying they were here to arrest them all. 

Kieran followed the others into the back of the house, taking a shaky breath. Before they knew it, bullets raining into the place. Sounded like a Gatling gun. Everyone ducked down, Abigail covering jack, the girls huddling close. Kieran was huddling down where Arthur’s bedroll was, watching as Sadie crawled and Arthur out the back. Arthur telling them all to stay down, his eyes caught Kieran’s for a moment. Giving him a weak, reassuring smile before he went outside. As if he was saying ‘ Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.’

after that it was just one scary blur that lasted 20 minutes, 20 minutes of gunshots and yelling and fire. The gang was honestly lucky they didn’t lose anyone. Considering how many of those bastards showed up. But once it was over Kieran slowly went outside, pulling the brim of his hat down to protect his face from the rain. Watching everyone get to work on cleaning up the body’s. Seeing his boyfriend stood with Abigail and Sadie, probably talking about John. The whole time Arthur was away, Abby had been worried sick. Sadie and Charles helped a little by keeping on eye on John from afar. Watching where they moved him and stuff and making sure he hadn’t swung yet.

He waited for a while, just watching them talk until they were done. He didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. But once the girls walked away, he slowly went over. Tapping Arthur’s shoulder so he’s spin around and look at him. He looked exhausted... soaked from the rain, cold and covered in some blood mixed with mud. And if no one was around them, cleaning up. He would’ve reached up and wiped the mud from his face. But he just smiled softly at him, patting his arm. Now it was Kieran’s turn to be the reassuring, confident one here. Even though his hands were shaking and he did think he was gonna die in that gun fight.

  
He took a deep breath and folded his arms “ we’ll be okay you know... it doesn’t look like it right now. But we’ll all come out of this okay. Happy and somewhat healthy.” 

At that Arthur looked at him and shrugged “ it don’t feel like it... everywhere we go, we’re chased and shot at. What the hell are we gonna do Kieran...” he took a step closer to him and sighed through his nose.

Kieran frowned, looking around before putting his hands on Arthur’s arms and looking him dead in the eyes.“ Arthur Morgan... we are all gonna make it out of this. We are. We... are gonna be fine.”

The blond looked back at him and nodded “ Even if we nearly get killed doing it?”

”... Even if we nearly die, if we can live through this. Sure it’s all gone to hell... but if _I’m_ so sure. Me, the fella who gets so anxious he shakes like a leaf in a darn hurricane... we’ll be okay.” Kieran sighed and pulled his hands back. 

Arthur just looked at him, taken aback by how confident he was there. Which was very rare... hell the guy was so confident he wasn’t even hunched over, like he wasnt hiding anymore. He was stood straight, showing that he was actually an inch or two taller then Arthur. He smiled softly, nodding and sighing. Holding up his hands “ You’re right... we’ll make it out okay. We have to... cmon let’s clean up before Miss Grimshaw starts to yell at us.”

Arthur gave Kieran a smile, gently batting his arm before walking off. Kieran shaking his head and following behind. Kieran was right... they’d been through so much and made it this far. They’d be fine... they’d be fine. Him and Kieran would make it out of this with the others. Live their life and end up being old men on a ranch or something.   
  


if Kieran was so sure of it... then Arthur was too. They’d make it alive, and get to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the very big gap in updates. Things have been really wild rn. 
> 
> 1) my 20th birthday was in July, I got cameos from BOTH Rob and Rodger!!! Nothing is better than hearing Rodger sing happy birthday in Arthur’s voice and hearing rob just ramble
> 
> 2) my Grandar passed away suddenly in august so I wasn’t in the mood to write. I did start the game for a 4th time though. Cause Arthur is my emotional support cowboy
> 
> I hope this chapter is okay! I Felt the past few chapters were very me h so I hope this made up for it.


	7. Very little respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After they move camp for the 5th time, Arthur finally gets a very short break...very short. Like a day. After he and Sadie got John back, to Dutch's disdain.
> 
> ( this chapter is 2/3 conversation )

If Arthur was a religious man, he'd honestly say that this is Hell on Earth. That this was his punishment for all the horrible shit he's done in his life. Hell, he's not religious at all and still thinks that. Karma for being a horrible person. But he didn't know if it was karma, bad luck or the fact the gang just was not as sharp as they used to be.

He'd figure that out later. The gang was still on edge, Beaver Hollow was a dump. Foggy, damp and cold. Everyone was terrified of those Murfree bastards, they didn't know if they'd come back. If they did... you know what, Arthur didn't wanna think about it. Especially after him and Charles saw what they did to that poor girl from Annesburg.

This past few days had already been so tense, not even with the threat of the Murfree's possibly coming back. But while the camp was being set up, Arthur had come back to camp on Pepper. When Uncle had come over to the group with a letter... addressed to to ' Tacitus Kilgore'. That wasn't good. He went to give it to Dutch, but Arthur took it from the old drunk's hands and shook his head.

_" Give it here you old fool..." Arthur let out a sigh and roughly opened up the envelope. Not noticing that the gang was slowly gathering around him in a circle. Once Arthur pulled out the letter he cleared his throat as he began to read it aloud.  
_

_The writing was very delicate, written in cursive but some words looked shaky. As if the author was nervous or rushed._

_' Dear Tacitus,_

_I'm very sorry for my absence, I know I left awfully quick and for good reason. I'm sorry but I couldn't bear to be there anymore. I was dreadfully unhappy, I moved to the states and met you and your family and it was amazing at first. You treated me like one of your own._

_But the fighting and how unkind some of your cousins were, that was downright horrible. I know you didn't mean it and the stress from your job was what ultimately cause the collapse of our friendship. But I couldn't stay, I've taken the boat back to Europe with the money I had set aside just in case. I also told the rival business about your new scheme. I'm sorry but I had no choice._

_\- Moira O'Connell '_

_as soon as Arthur was finished, the camp was silent. Shit. Molly ratted them out... or at least she claimed she had. He could feel the anger radiating from Dutch, not being able to say anything before the letter was snatched from his hands. Dutch scoffing and crumpling it up without saying a word, storming off to his tent and angrily mumbling to himself. This was already a very bad start..._

Ever since that moment, a few days ago, Arthur had just been thinking to himself. Would Molly really do that? he didn't think she would. He had a bad feeling it was just to get Dutch's attention, cause she was hurt and angry. But he'd think more on that later. Today he was just trying to relax. Before Dutch inevitably sent him out to do more work out of spite...

Arthur had expected him to be mad since he was making a plan to get John out... if he was making one. But ever since they got back from Guarma, that snake had been right in his ear. Like a goddamn parrot. Hosea didn't like it that was for sure, the old man was still weak from taking a bullet in his side. He shouldn't have had to deal with all of this.

Arthur didn't find it fair that he had to see the gang in this state. Split in half, people wanting to leave for their own safety. It was obvious now that they were nearing the end of the line, to everyone but Dutch and the few who still trusted him. That was mostly just Javier, Bill and Micah... everyone else was thinking on how to get out.

They had had enough of this shit. Arthur had too, but he couldn't just walk. He still hoped the man who had been like a father to him since he was 14, would snap out of it. Realise how ridiculous this was. But when he killed that old lady in Guarma, went through with the dumb plan at the bank and everything since Blackwater. He wasn't sure he would. 

He had already gone for a ride on Pepper, carefully. He'd already been ambushed by the Murfree's once since they moved here he wanted to avoid it. He went to town to get supplies and came back to camp the long way round. Hitching up right next to his tent and hopping off, whilst he was pulling things from his bag he saw John sat behind one of the wagons.

Just looking over the cliff at the river below, thinking with whatever parts of that idiot brain he still had left. You know what, for once. He'd go sit and talk to him, like they used to. Arthur let out a sigh, putting his supplies away before slowly walking over and clearing his throat.

John looked up at him, looking confused. Having been in a total daze. When Arthur said nothing for a moment the look shifted. John narrowing his eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh.

"What Morgan... come to berate me already? Say how much I suit black and white stripes or... some shit like that?" Marston folded his arms, Christ this kid never changed. Always so hot headed and stubborn.

"No, I was gonna ask if I could sit with you. Moron." Arthur reached down and hit the brim of John's hat, so it went over his eyes. Making John groan and push it back up, he looked up at Arthur before he shuffled over. Making room for him to sit next to him.

The blond sat himself down with a groan, having one knee up and resting his arm on it. "How you feeling being off of death row?" he said, not wanting to sit in awkward silence.

The younger man shrugged " Relieved kinda? I don't know … sometimes I feel like being here is more dangerous than being stuck in there waiting to hang. Least hanging wouldn't consist of Abby yellin' at me." He mumbled.

Arthur scoffed and shook his head "As if she ain't got good reason?" As soon as he said that, John was shooting daggers at him. To which Arthur just looked right back at him " Don't look at me like that Marston, she has every right to be mad at you. You just don't wanna admit it."

John folded his arms " I just got outta prison Arthur! I dunno what the hell I'm supposedly doing to piss her off! Exist?!

" Not make an effort, call her names, ignore your son, act like you're 14, I could go on-" Before Arthur could continue, John huffed and got up.

  
"So you did come here to sit there and act like you're fucking better than me! You're such an asshole, I _knew_ Sadie must've bribed you to come get me from Sisika! Cause I just know you would've _loved_ to see me swing!" The younger man looked down at Arthur, extremely agitated until the older one reached up and grabbed his wrist. Yanking him back down hard.

" Will you quit yapping for one minute and let me finish?..." Arthur sighed and let go of John's hand, letting him rub it. Once he knew John was gonna stay quiet, he continued with what he was saying. "Abby, needs you to buck up right now. You understand? She needs you to prove to her, that you're capable of being the man of the family. John you have a 4 year old... he's seen people die for crying out loud and soon. He might see one of us die. " His voice was extremely stern, serious. 

John knew he meant every word he said, nodding and lowering his head. "I know. I dunno how the Hell I'm supposed to be a dad. I don't feel like the kid likes me." He took off the hat and ran his hand through his shaggy black hair, looking at Arthur with a frown. One thing that always hit Arthur when John was upset was those damn puppy dog eyes he put on. Always made Arthur feel sorry for him. 

"Do you not think that's cause you act so... uninterested?... You need to try! Show Jack you care about him. Play with him for crying out loud, he's been begging to for months. That's a start I guess..." Arthur just shrugged and rubbed his face. 

  
John nodded and leaned back against the wagon, sitting with Arthur in science for a moment. The pair looking over the river below. When you weren't looking at the actual camp, the surrounding area looked rather nice. Wasn't Horseshoe overlook level of serene but nice nonetheless.

John let out a soft sigh and shook his head. "I gotta get Jack and Abby outta this... I can't let them die Arthur. I'll give her Old Boy and let them run off with him. Sure she'll find a nice spot and be okay without me-"He was promptly cut off by Arthur hitting the back of his head. The younger man hissing and putting his hand over the spot

" No, you're going with them. Moron, You gotta get outta here too." The blond spoke up and shook his head. " You're only 26, you deserve a life outside of this crap. Where you and your family are safe and happy... I will make sure you get that." John just stared at him in shock, going to say something before Arthur held up his hand " I ain't arguing with you... You're getting out when you get the chance. Okay? Run and don't look back..."Arthur looked away as John frowned and sighed, just nodding. He knew not to argue with Arthur by now, it was a battle he never won.

  
The pair sat in silence for another half hour. Enjoying the view and the quiet company, that was until John nudged Arthur's side and looked at him. Arthur looking right back at him and raising a brow, waiting for him to say whatever was gonna come from that half eaten brain of his. 

"Uh... This is gonna sound so odd but. Have you been uh... uh. Y'know." John kept fumbling, and when he noticed the annoyance growing on the older man's face he groaned "Have you been seeing someone on the side- well not on the- you know what I mean, Morgan."

That question took Arthur aback. He kinda froze, looking at John with a surprised expression. After a moment he looked around, checking behind the wagon. He didn't wanna be hung drawn and quartered. Especially now. He looked back at John, who was waiting for an answer like a kid, so Arthur just shrugged. "Maybe, why? Why do you of all people care whether or not I'm seeing someone."

John laughed " Cause, goddamn whoever makes Arthur Morgan happy deserves an award. You are the sourest old man I know. Except Uncle... Yet look at you, before the bank robbery you were all cheerful and shit. I may be dumb but I know you better than you'd care to admit." He folded his arms and leaned in close, smirking. Fuck he shouldn't have said anything. "Who is it?... You ain't seeing Mary Linton again are you? she only used you to do her dirty work."

Arthur rolled his eyes "It ain't Mary, It's none of the girls from camp, not a working girl, not a girl from the theatre. Nothing like that... okay?" He held up his hands. 

John just hummed and thought for a second before looking at him, narrowing his eyes " Oh c'mon it's not like you're seeing a fella! You can say, you won't get shot-"

  
He froze, seeing the other's reaction. The man he knew to be serious or cold, looked panicked. He rarely looked at John like that. Arthur had felt a chill go over him when John said that, like the weather had suddenly changed. He had never thought of what John's reaction could be. He knew he wouldn't really get it either way. But he never knew if he'd have a good or bad reaction... he didn't know how any of the gang would react to the fact he was with a man. Kieran especially. 

John didn't really know what to say, he slowly reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder. In an attempt to be reassuring.  
"U-uh. It's. It's fine... if it is I won't say anything... Just a shock that's all. "

As soon as he said that Arthur felt a wave of relief go over him, letting out a sigh and slumping back "Good cause I'd kick the shit out of you. You know I would." He spoke low and rubbed his arm, looking at John and raising a brow when he saw how curious he looked. "John just ask me... I can see the cogs going in your brain and the steam coming out your ears.

The shaggy haired man hummed and folded his arms "... Who is it? I dunno any other fellas that are... That... way. Except maybe Bill but I think he'd rather die than admit it. Or act on it. Is it Charles? You two are a lot more close-" He got promptly interrupted by Arthur, holding up his hand.

"I'm gonna stop you before you embarrass yourself... It ain't Charles... It's Kieran." He said simply.

  
John blinked, processing it before tilting his head. "... Duffy? The anxious fella who we nearly mutilated and who we tortured for months? That Kieran?"

"Yeah, that Kieran." The older man nodded and folded his arms "... Been with him since the day I kicked the shit out of Micah."

"Oh..." The other said softly. "You happy?.. with him. Are you two happy despite the fact you could both be arrested if you got caught?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes "I think being an 'invert' would be at the bottom of the list to the shit we've done that would get us hung... but yeah. I'm happy." Arthur just watched over the other as he nodded and looked around. Patting Arthur's shoulder before getting up.

"Wondered why you weren't being such a miserable bastard. Glad you're happy, I don't 100% get it. Doubt I ever will. But seriously he deserves a medal..." He started to head off and a small smile went over Arthur's face.

  
He didn't expect John to ever be so understanding, he thought he'd call him weird. But that went better than Arthur thought it would. They also didn't rip each other's throats out for a damn change. It was kinda nice actually, reminded him of how they used to be before John ran off for a year. They were like brothers... if Marston hadn't ran of like a moron maybe they still would've been. Well, maybe he can make up for lost time, before they end up in more trouble.

He did have one main concern before then though. He needed to think of what he was gonna do about Kieran. He didn't want him to get hurt in this mess. So he was gonna have to think of a way to get him out and not have anyone find out. Kieran, was lucky enough to have only been with them a short while. The Pinkertons hopefully didn't know his name, so he could probably be okay out on his own... not that Arthur wanted to do this.

Suddenly now it was his turn to make the plan, and it was scaring him to do so. But he didn't have a choice anymore, he needed to make sure the fella he cared about was safe. If Arthur didn't make it he didn't make it, he knew what he was getting into. But he wasn't letting anything else happen to Kieran. But till then... He'd probably have a beer or two, sit and watch the sunset and try relax before he got sent out again. Hopefully that job wouldn't be a Deathwish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! hope you liked the chapter and I hope you're safe and well in this very fucking scary time!!! from here there will be a lot fewer time skips, it will run relatively smooth with skips only being a few days maybe until needed. 
> 
> stay safe!!!


End file.
